Angel in the centerfold
October 8I was 14 and had just started my sophomore year in high school the first time I spent the night with a boy. After convincing my father that my friend's parents were on an abnormally long trip to the grocery store, I was left unsupervised in a house with my first real boyfriend. The house reeked of wet dog and urine, yet somehow I still expected every second to be magical. Had I known the "treat" that night had in store for me I would have worn a chastity belt and equipped my boyfriend with Chinese finger cuffs. Being fingered for the first time felt about as natural as stuffing a potato up my nostril, except that it sure as hell wasn't my nostril that was throbbing with pain. That night I learned that 14-year-old boys are not aware of the importance of the clitoris. My boyfriend was suffering from the common misconception that girls have orgasms if fingers are shoved up their un-lubricated vaginas. In early high school the clitoris was somewhat like Bermuda; everyone had heard of it, but no one actually knew where it was. It's understandable that most young men are uninformed about women's anatomy. What's inexcusable is that most young women are just as confused concerning their vaginas. I was lucky. My parents were very open with me about sex. I have always known I had a clitoris, where it is, and the importance of this organ. If my boyfriends were less enlightened, I would stop mid hook-up, draw a labeled diagram of the vagina, and then return to action. Sure I didn't always get the best reactions, but for the most part I always got off. My friend Brandy, on the other hand, who was 18 and had lost her virginity, and in a discussion about clitori said matter-of-factly "well, I just don't think I have one." I was appalled by how little my friends knew, and after examining the "educational" materials readily available to young women, I began to understand why. Hollywood would like to have us believe that the action of a man gallantly thrusting his penis into a woman is enough to leave her screaming in ecstasy. On the contrary, according to Dr. Ruth, a well-know sex therapist, only 1/3 of all women are able to reach orgasm through this action alone. Girls grow up watching movie sex believing that's what sex is like in real life. In reality, many of my friends were confused and disheartened because they weren't as ecstatic about the thrusting of their boyfriend's throbbing member. Many of my friends turned to popular women's magazines for sex advice. Glamour and Cosmopolitan boast cover stories like "Ten Ways to Please Your Man in Bed" or "Sex Tricks That Will Have Him Begging for More." Reading these titles one gets the impression that men are the ones suffering in the bedroom, on the kitchen table, and in the backseat of their Volvo station wagons. I refuse to believe that this is the case. The chances that a man fails to reach an orgasm are slim unless he is suffering from a sexual dysfunction, has had too much to drink, or is thoroughly spent. Popular magazines don't have sex columns giving women advice on how to make their own experiences more pleasurable or common misconceptions about the vagina. The only sex advice that we can expect adolescents to receive from the public school system is "just say no." Conveniently, this one slogan can be used for both drugs and sex. To some extent I agree with the abstinence campaign. The longer that girls put off intercourse, the more likely it is that their first experiences will be pleasurable ones. Oral and digital sex allow for exploration of the vaginal region. When intercourse is added into the equation, most of the exploration stops, as penises tend to gravitate towards moist, fleshy holes and overlook the surrounding areas. The chances of a woman having an orgasm after three minutes of intercourse are very low; and most of the men that young women are having sex with aren't going to be long distance runners. "Penises are straight forward," my friend Patrick used to say. "Vaginas should come with instruction manuals." Unfortunately, most of the sex instruction available to children comes from the media. As a result teens develop a very warped sense of female sexuality. If more accurate information was available, teens would be more prepared when vagina handling. Perhaps Hollywood could show a seventeen-year-old girl lying under her sweaty boyfriend looking bored and confused. Magazines could print articles about how to masturbate more successfully, and the government could change its stance from "just say no" to "just say clitoris." For answers to further questions, please contact me at tuftssex@hotmail.com.

