In the past, I've voiced my ruthless contempt for Hugh Grant, who is the single most annoying person in film not named Ben Stiller. However, I'll have it known that close behind him on my Hollywood hit list is John Cusack, who is every bit as sniveling and charmingly, pathetically puppy-like as his British counterpart, but who nonetheless has one redeeming achievement: "High Fidelity" (2000).
In one of this opus' many nuggets of sage analysis, Cusack's character tells his girlfriend, Laura, that she can't simultaneously like Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel, and that doing so would be such an egregious trespass that she might as well claim to support both the Palestinians and the Israelis. I realize it's funnier when he says it, but that's not the point.
The point is that I totally understand because when I was 16, I fell in love with the band STS9 at a time when (or in a culture where) doing so meant that you almost categorically couldn't like the Disco Biscuits.
Looking back, the dichotomy was absurd. I can understand siding with one person in some kind of tiff out of personal loyalty to one party. But siding with one congenial band over another band that shares obvious aesthetic and cultural similarities seems not only stupid and pointless, but counterproductive.
Nonetheless, the beef was there, and the handful of times I've given the Disco Biscuits, unfortunately nicknamed "Bisco," a chance to win me over, they've failed badly. I may have been slightly predisposed to dislike them, but their music always felt too repetitive, too indulgent and too shallow. They seemed to self-servingly mess around on their instruments for way too long, desperately trying to get to a crescendo so it would seem like they were doing something impressive, and occasionally chanting the most God-awful lead vocals this side of Creed.
Maybe it was because I realized the absurdity of the Bisco/STS9 rift. Or maybe it was because STS9 has hit a creative dry spell over the last 12 months and I need something to fill the gap until it gets its swagger back. Whatever the reason, I felt oddly impelled to see Bisco in Boston last weekend. Even more baffling than my desire to see this poorly named group of jamming, solo-happy Philadelphians, though, was how much I actually enjoyed it.
To be clear, I wasn't blown away. But whereas my negativity toward the Disco Biscuits used to center around my philosophical aversion to their noodling, mindless melodies and unrelentingly "untz"-y rhythms, I left the House of Blues with a much less damning thought: Maybe Bisco simply isn't my kind of thing.
Drummer Allen Aucoin seems to have meshed with the band since I last saw it, and he has elevated his play beyond the endless house/techno "untz" that I had grown accustomed to. More importantly, though, what I once viewed as unabashed, instrumental wankery felt a lot more legitimate and inspired.
During sections in songs like "Run Like Hell" and "Shelby Rose," Bisco didn't wank so much as jam in well-integrated, highly cooperative melodies. Their improvisations actually made sense, and I finally saw why so many of my friends think Jon Gutwillig is an elite guitarist. The dude can shred -- no two ways about it. I may not like his style of playing, but I can't deny that he does some incredible things.
I will probably never like the Disco Biscuits. Their music is too melodious, too peppy, too carefree in a patchouli-scented kind of way for my personal tastes. But after seeing and enjoying them free of whatever asinine fetters I have accrued over the years, I can at least say that I wish I had found this out earlier.
On Feb. 24, in collaboration with Boot Camp Clik, (allegedly) deceased rapper Tupac Shakur released "One Nation." Is he actually dead or just hiding out in Mexico, plotting an epic comeback? Anyway, in honor of this (supposedly) posthumous material, we've come up with a list of dead artists we'd like to see release some new stuff. Because if Pac can do it, why can't they?10. Alfred Hitchcock: We at the Daily Arts Department can't deny that we love movies, but we also have to admit that we've been seeing a lot of crap hitting the silver screen lately. All we ask is that Freddy return and give us another masterfully suspenseful thriller to make us feel better after hearing that the Miley Cyrus concert movie netted $13 million during its opening weekend.9. Humphrey Bogart: Few men this talented exist in Hollywood today, and that's a pity. Humphrey epitomized the classy actor, and maybe if he were still around, we'd get some thoughtful mysteries or timeless romances. Here's lookin' at you, kid.8. Elvis: There's something a little less than dignified about dying on the toilet. First off, folks are bound to make jokes about "The King" kicking the bucket on a "porcelain throne." But don't you worry, Elvis, we know that you would've gotten your life together had you survived drug addiction and declining health. Heck, you probably could've brought rockabilly into the '80s, and who wouldn't have loved that?7. ee cummings: lowercase letters are soin style so is odd spacingand lack of punctuation6. Marilyn Monroe: It's sad that someone so beautiful died so tragically. And okay, maybe she wasn't that great of an actress, but she kept gossip magazines interesting -- nowadays, they only make women who look like her in the plastic surgery O.R.5. Shel Silverstein: We admit that his poems are a little weird and creepy for children, but who cares as long as kids are reading? Plus, he encouraged children dying when they don't get what they want ("Little Abigail and the Beautiful Pony"), so as long as we're on the receiving end from our parents, he's okay with us.4. Kurt Vonnegut: As Vonnegut proved, you can't have "slaughter" without "laughter." Maybe if he were still around, we could find more to laugh at in our grim and often too-serious world. So it goes.3. Mozart: To classical music fans, he is one of the greatest composers ever. And even if you don't know anything about classical music, you've definitely heard of him and can probably identify one or two of his melodies. The fact that his is still a household name shows that he's still got it. Although "it," in this case, could have been rheumatic fever...2. Jimi Hendrix: Not only did this "Voodoo Child" play a right-handed guitar lefty, he also managed to be one of the greatest rock performers of all time, despite (or perhaps because of) a "Purple Haze" of LSD. If he hadn't choked on his own vomit at the age of 27, which is like postulating "If 6 were 9..." if we're talking hypotheticals, we wouldn't have to "Wait Until Tomorrow" for a "New Rising Sun" of phenomenal rock.1. Shakespeare: The man who brought us angst-ridden teenagers and a psychotic man out to get revenge for his mother's death has provided so much inspiration for Hollywood. Think about it... "O" (2001), "Ten Things I Hate About You" (1999) and countless others are based on his plays. Wouldn't it be nice to get some new material? Maybe he can write us some sonnets for the gay marriage ceremonies, or another play based on what really happened between him and Sir Francis Bacon...--compiled by the Daily Arts Department
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Dear Fabolous,
What's a tactful way to say this? Maybe: "Sit the next few plays out, bud?" We caught wind of the 500 pounds of sweet, sweet herb in the locked compartment of your bus, and admittedly, you weren't actually on the bus when the goods were found, but both drivers arrested implicated you. And sure, their stories might be a little hazy, but come on, with all that weed on hand, they could have gotten curious, and who would've noticed the difference? This isn't exactly looking great for... wait a second... 500 pounds?
Are you freaking kidding? By Arts Department calculations (and we promise you, we're good at math, really), that's roughly enough ganja to stay baked for the next 1,000 years. So, Fab, that couldn't have all been for you, now could it? Ugly legal phrases like "felony possession" and "intent to distribute" start to spring to mind, and that's just a serious buzz kill.
Listen, we understand that peer pressure can be tough. After all, many of today's most successful rappers have built their careers around songs about the drug deals of their respective pasts. Just look at 50 Cent, who was dealing at the age of 12, and Jay-Z, who only quit selling the rock when Roc-A-Fella began selling records.
Fabolous, the cops are leaving you alone for now, but what about next time? We think you should keep a low profile for a while, and consider moving down to sub-felony levels of possession. If you can't just say no, you could always come hang out in Massachusetts, where you'll only get a $100 fine as long as you only have under an ounce.
And maybe, you know, if you feel like it, you could drop by Spring Fling.Keep it real,The Daily Arts Department
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