Dear Reality TV,
You are what is wrong with the world today. Because of you we have an obnoxious collection of so-called "celebrities" who, in their quest to be famous, do stupid, stupid things. Take Richard Heene, for example.
Before last week, few knew his name, but now a handful more do. Heene appeared on ABC's "Wife Swap" not once, but twice, and last week, he may or may not have fabricated a disaster.
Heene's son, Falcon, was thought to be trapped inside a giant floating balloon. Thinking that the Falcon really took flight, news stations carefully tracked the balloon on TV and viewers were frantic. At the end of the day, it was revealed that Falcon had been hiding in the attic of his family's house after he had accidentally set the balloon free. Rumors ran wild that this was Heene's attempt to land a reality TV series — or just garner a few more minutes of fame — after TLC rejected his pitch for a show several months ago.
Whether or not Falcon's family had a hand in fabricating this fiasco doesn't matter. No reality TV "star" has ever gone on to do anything helpful or useful for society. Take Richard Hatch, the winner of the first season of "Survivor," for example. After all those long days building shelters and urinating in the woods, he didn't pay taxes on his winnings.
The long and the short of it is that reality TV is a stain on our lives. If the scramble for exposure leads reality show fanatics to silvery balloon scams, we want no part of it. Reality TV, as 6-year-old Falcon did to NBC cameras in an interview, we vomit in your general direction.
So go, Reality TV; we're banishing you to the wilderness. And not like Bear Grylls: if you bring a film crew ... well, we can't be held accountable for our actions. The love we may have felt for you, at one point, is gone. It's over, Reality TV. You are the weakest link, goodbye.
Sincerely,
The Daily Arts Department
