I have a newfound attitude when it comes to one of my favorite annual sporting events. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, well, still shame on you. I'm not the one to blame.
That is my new sentiment about All−Star Saturday night, the supposed highlight of the NBA All−Star festivities in Dallas. Every year, for as far back as I can remember, I have sacrificed four hours to watch the evening unfold. I hate to say it, but this might be the last time I do so.
There was really not one memorable moment from this past Saturday. The H−O−R−S−E contest was an OK start, but it has not lived up to my expectations since it came into inception last year. Maybe it was an overdose of TNT commentators Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith, or the fact that it turned into a three−point contest in its own right, or, finally, that there was little real creativity, but the H−O−R−S−E contest once again lacked the flair I had imagined.
Not even the presence of my favorite player, Rajon Rondo, and his unbelievable shooting display (seriously, he has not shot that well in a game since, well, ever) could save the night from starting on a sour note.
It got worse from there. The Shooting Stars competition was as boring as ever, plus the team that won was from "Texas." Texas is huge, and there are three NBA teams there. How can you put them all under one umbrella? The Skills challenge was semi−original about five years ago. Now? The most exciting part is whether a guy will miss the bounce pass.
The Three−Point Shootout, by far my favorite part of All−Star Saturday, was surprisingly dull, even with Paul Pierce pulling out an improbable win eight years after he came in last place.
But an All−Star weekend is usually judged by one thing: the Slam Dunk Contest. And that is where the league has dropped the ball. Forget the farce that is Nate Robinson becoming the first three−time champ. Seriously, forget it. Even as a short kid who is probably the only person to ever count Earl Boykins among his heroes, I can't root for the guy. But it was the contest as a whole that was the problem.
Anyone who watched will know that there was not one memorable dunk on the night. There was not really a single moment that stood out, and I am writing this three days after it occurred. The only victory to come out of this was that I finally perfected my All−Star Saturday drinking game.
For perspective, here is a list of things I recently watched that were infinitely more entertaining than any part of All−Star Saturday: men's short track speed skating (which I found out is surprisingly cool), women's moguls and an old episode of Criminal Minds — which I had never watched before but which I found out has that guy from the movie "Airheads" (1994) in it who also does the voice of Fat Tony on The Simpsons.
So what is the point in watching anymore? If I were to miss something — and somehow I doubt I'll be kicking myself for not seeing Robinson's four−peat in 2011 — I can always watch it on YouTube.com. Plus, the bitter taste I had from the evening made me skip the All−Star game itself, usually not a problem, except that this year it was about a thousand times more entertaining than anything else that occurred that weekend. It even featured some dunks that were actually good.
And why was that? Because it is the part of the weekend that actually has the best players. And maybe that is the simple solution to fixing the Saturday events — having more superstars, like Pierce, actually participating. But until something is done, this might be the last time I watch. And if I forget all about this and get disappointed again next year, this time I'll say shame on me.
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Ethan Landy is a senior majoring in English. He can be reached at Ethan.Landy@tufts.edu.
