We don't deserve technology. We deserve a good, hard beating.
Sexting is in the news again.
Sexting is always in the news. While policy makers, parents, principals and middle school boys everywhere are up in arms about the practice, the truth of the matter is that sexting is nothing more than the unique result of a high−tech culture that's too stupid to properly utilize the advanced technology that's so readily available.
Back in the '30s, Dick Tracy had a watch−phone; everybody wanted one. Later, Maxwell Smart from "Get Smart" (1965−1970) had a shoe phone. Everyone wanted one of those, too. Soon enough, however, phones moved to cars and then to pockets, purses and embarrassing hip−holsters everywhere. Everyone finally had mobile phones.
At the turn of the 21st century, mobile phones became so mundane that, in order to make them interesting again, phone makers — in a move that no one will ever understand — decided to put cameras in phones. Clearly the next step was to take naked pictures of oneself and loved (used very, very loosely) ones.
Sex as a driving force is arguably more powerful than both wealth and religion, and we can add the success of picture messaging to the long list of media conquered by mammaries — a list that already includes the internet, the VCR and cable television. And that's just during the last half−century.
Most states prosecute underage "sexters" — those who send, receive or store "pornographic" pictures of themselves on their phones — as sex offenders or child pornographers, which is clearly ridiculous. The good news is that these laws, in many states, are being reexamined and reformed. The bad news is that it's even necessary to have legal precedents regarding teenagers who take pictures of their junk.
And it isn't just picture messages that have been tainted by sex organs. Anyone who is currently alive has heard of Chatroulette.com. For those uninitiated few, however, allow me to explain: Chatroulette is a Web site where fat men go to touch themselves inappropriately in front of webcams.
But this wasn't always the case. A few short months ago, Chatroulette had unbridled potential. Visitors who logged onto the site around the end of 2009 found a magical place where they could chat, sing, dance and generally be strange via webcam with other anonymous users worldwide. On my first visit, I had a number of quick conversations with people in places ranging from Chile to Paris to Turkey and everywhere in between.
Then everyone heard about it. As soon as my mother asked me if I had heard of Chatroulette — she heard about it on NPR — I knew it was too late (no offense, mom or NPR). Within days of every major news outlet running related stories, the site was overrun by wankers.
Now most are too timid to troll the penis−infested waters of Chatroulette for fear of seeing what cannot be unseen. Society has lost another skirmish with technology, and the battle cry was "show me ur boobs."
The thing that I can't understand is who actually did it. At some point, somewhere, some woman must have shown said boobs. Who knows why; maybe it was some sort of kinky thing, maybe she was drunk. I don't know. What I do know is that was stupid, and it's her fault that all of this is happening. Maybe it wasn't Helen's face that launched all those ships.
But then, who is more guilty: the flasher or the heckler who demanded bosom?
Maybe we don't have rocket packs or laser guns yet because we can't be trusted with them — or because we can't use them to see boobs.
Technology−enabled perverts: 0 out of 5 stars.
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