As we all know, college life is not without its occasional embarrassments — whether it's slipping on a patch of ice in front of your peers, participating in the Naked Quad Run, drinking too much and accidentally saying or doing something stupid (and typically overtly sexual), or getting locked out of your dorm room in nothing but a towel. Being under minimal adult supervision leaves plenty of opportunities for funny−yet−mortifying moments.
Fortunately for us, the fashion world has recently offered a solution to at least one of these embarrassing traditions — the "walk of shame." The walk of shame is that inevitable trek one makes across campus after one has slept in the bed of a stranger/friend/lover without having the foresight to pack a change of clothes (probably because this "slumber party" was not planned and only occurred due to copious amounts of alcohol consumed), therefore forcing one to wear last night's attire.
But with the ironically named "boyfriend look" running rampant in women's style magazines, who says last night's mistake can't be today's fashion opportunity? Upon exiting your sleeping lover's room, simply grab from his closet a dress shirt or oversized comfy sweater (avoid hoodies and crew−neck T−shirts) and a pair of jeans, roll up the pant hems and shirt sleeves, pair them with last night's slutty heels and voilà — fashion!
I decided (more like I was forced) to test this theory out one morning using my boyfriend's closet. I started by putting on a pair of slim grey jeans and a red flannel shirt. Then I slipped on my black heels from the night before and asked him what he thought. He replied that I looked "cute" and kissed me on the forehead. Something told me he was merely indulging me and would probably prefer it if I stuck to wearing my fitted skinny jeans instead.
Regardless, I continued to march out to my 8:05 a.m. nutrition class, suspiciously eyeing others to see if they suspected my walk of shame. Judging by the fact that it was 8:05 a.m., wearing anything other than sweatpants could make a person stick out. However, the fact that it was 8:05 a.m. also meant that no one was awake enough to pay attention to whatever the hell I was wearing.
I sat next to my friend when I got to class and she greeted me with a normal "hey" and got back to focusing on the lecture. She either truly didn't notice or she's so used to my androgynous clothing choices that she didn't bother to say anything. After class, I walked back to my dorm room, seemingly unobserved by any judgmental or overly observant peers.
I conclude that wearing men's clothing has been a success, but only in one respect. I may have managed to escape the embarrassment of a walk of shame, but with a glance in the mirror, I realized that if I had shown up on a first date wearing this same outfit, I'd probably still be single. I looked like a tomboy stuck in the '90s grunge era. Not even stilettos could make that frumpy mess seem sexy.
Nonetheless, as days went by, I continued to steal more clothing out of my boyfriend's closet and pretended they were my own. Why? Because Vogue told me to.
And if all those fashion−loving guys out there are feeling a bit left out at this point, don't worry. There's a solution to avoiding a male walk of shame as well. With kilts making a comeback, why not try borrowing your partner's pleated skirt from her former Catholic school days? Marc Jacobs would be proud.
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Ashley Wood is a junior majoring in English. She can be reached at Ashley.Wood@tufts.edu.
