Look, let me get this out of the way early. "The Human Centipede" (2009) is a super gross movie — it has been listed under the fairly new genre of "biological horror." It's poorly written, has weak characters with little to no motivations and is overall a piece of crap (har har har). But, it does have a place in the pantheon of notable movies worth seeing … maybe not next to "The Shawkshank Redemption" (1994) or "The King's Speech" (2010), but somewhere.
For the normal people out there who don't know what "The Human Centipede" is, it's a movie. It's about a doctor. This doctor attempts to create the next step in human evolution — unfortunately for three tourists in Germany (of course it's Germany), it means surgically attaching people bottom to mouth. He also cuts some ligaments so you can't walk upright, but essentially his goal is to create a macro−organism with one single digestive tract: a "human centipede." Let that soak. Mull over the implications. Imagine walking as a single unit like that, with all the pulling at the seams. Picture being the middle person (the "B"). Consider the nutritional value of the "food" the last person in line gets. Now you understand what a biological horror movie is.
It's disgusting. It's definitely not a movie you'd want your mom to see and it makes me distrust all German doctors for the rest of my life. I'm not going to call it art because it's simply shock horror. Themes are not explored, there's no character development (I mean, how could you develop a character when her mouth is stitched to the bottom of a Japanese man who speaks no English?). But really, after some time apart from it, I have to say it was worth watching. I hear it's available streaming on Netflix, but don't rush to your nearest computer with a stomach full of chili and baked beans.
I watched it with a group of people who were all as grossed out about it as I was. It was shared misery and that was what made it so much fun. I remember someone starting to dry heave and another person just refused to watch scenes because it was so nasty. It was the difference between watching the Super Bowl alone and with some buddies who are cheering for different teams, between playing some Xbox at midnight in my parent's basement and with someone in the room to smack talk, or between cooking up Easy Mac for yourself and making a meal for some close friends — it is a communal experience. It's why you laugh harder in a group than alone, and it's why scary movies are more awesome with people.
On its own, "The Human Centipede" is a piece of garbage. That's not hard to argue. The director even had to lie to his investors about what the movie was about in order to get funding. But by coming together and getting super grossed out together, we can make a movie about forced surgery not too bad. The more the merrier and the funnier the movie.
Oh, and by the way, you're going to want to have a movie like "How to Train Your Dragon" (2010) ready to go. You'll need something to wash that nasty taste of "Human Centipede" off your palate (too soon?). Especially considering that the sequel (oh yes, there will be a sequel) is allegedly going to contain a 12−person centipede, you are going to need to up your gross tolerance quite a bit. Keep an eye (or mouth) open for that, and start convincing your friends to see it with you.
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