For those that missed Alex Prewitt's column yesterday, we are in the middle of a Fantasy Fantasy Baseball Draft series, in which we draft teams of the greatest fictional players of all time. The three of us researched hard — OK, we opened some crappy BleacherReport.com articles and some Wikipedia pages.
While my competitors looked for the biggest numbers, my team is a group of old-school baseball lifers who just love to play the game. So here they are, "The Damn Summer Motor Kings in the Outfield."
1st round, 1st overall: Roy Hobbs, Right Field, "The Natural" (1984):
The Adrian Peterson of fantasy fantasy baseball drafts, there was no other first pick. Grantland's Bill Simmons estimated that in the season depicted in the movie he hit .350 with 44 home runs in just 115 games.
2nd round, 6th overall: Casey, 1B, "Casey at the Bat" (1888)
I get it. He struck out in one of the biggest at-bats of his career. But the best hitters in baseball don't come through 65 percent of the time; just ask Alex Rodriguez.
3rd round, 7th overall: Bobby Rayburn, Centerfield, "The Fan" (1996)
You want clutch? This guy hit an inside-the-park home run on cue to save his son from Robert De Niro.
4th round, 12th overall: Bingo Long, Pitcher, "The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars & Motor Kings" (1976)
An ace pitcher, jokester and charismatic captain all rolled into one. He was able to beat a team of Negro League All-Stars in the movie's climax, which is more than good enough for me.
5th round, 13th overall: Morris Buttermaker, Coach, "Bad News Bears" (1976)
A team of old-school players needs a curse-slinging, alcohol-drinking manager.
6th round, 18th overall: Ryan Dunne, Pitcher, "Summer Catch" (2001)
The southpaw has a lot of promise, and with the help of my veteran pitchers he'll develop quite nicely. As a bonus, Jessica Biel will be hanging around the clubhouse plenty.
7th round, 19th overall: Ray Mitchell, Third Base, "Angels in the Outfield" (1994)
It's easy to forget that he had a strong bat and Gold Glove-caliber fielding skills to fill out my lacking infield.
8th round, 24th overall: John Dowd, Designated Hitter, "MVP Baseball"
Sports editor Aaron Leibowitz came up with this pick. Dowd, EA Sports' version of Barry Bonds after they could not get rights to use him, has all the numbers with none of the attitude. I'm going to go ahead and say he doesn't even use steroids.
9th round, 25th overall: Billy Chapel, Pitcher, "For Love of the Game" (1999)
Chapel pitched a perfect game at the age of 40 without realizing it. He may be toward the end of his career, but he will make a great pitching coach when he retires.
10th round, 30th overall: Joe Hardy, Left Field, "Damn Yankees" (1955)
The man was actually engineered by the devil for the sole purpose of playing baseball. Plus, how great would bench-clearing brawls with Ben Kochman's Al "The Boss" Angel be?
Favorite Pick: Dave King by Alex Prewitt
Move over Billy Beane, Prewitt has found sabermetric gold with a player that can do nothing but walk.
Least Favorite Pick: Clubhouse Chemistry of Ben Kochman
While a room featuring three pre-pubescents, a man who kills chickens, the second coming of Reggie Jackson and Charlie Sheen would make for a great sitcom, it would make for a much worse baseball team.
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Ethan Sturm is a junior majoring in bio-psychology. He can be reached at Ethan.Sturm@tufts.edu.
