"The Real Housewives of Atlanta" (RHoA) women are no strangers to new money. With the exception of Grammy winner KandiBurruss, it seems that the other women are living Bravo paycheck to Bravo paycheck. With Birkin bags, one−hit wonders and catch phrases galore — my personal favorite is Sheree Whitfield's season two "who go'n checks me, boo?" — this season featuring Georgia's ripest peaches started as juicy as ever.
The usual suspects are back for the fun: Kim Zolciak, who infamously dated the very−marriedmulti−millionaire Lee Najjar, aka "Big Papa," only to settle down with Atlanta Falcons player KroyBiermann. On the premiere episode, a very pregnant Kim praises her relationship and newfound joy at the hands of her fianceKroy, who is seven years her junior, as Kroy moves Big K's belongings out of storage and into her dream mansion. It seems that life post−NeNeLeakes is going along swimmingly for Kim.
Next, we run into NeNeLeakes, fresh off NBC's "Celebrity Apprentice," and probably just back from the bank. Did you know NeNe was paid to be on "Celebrity Apprentice"? Did you know she has been making money off her appearance as what Sheree calls "an irate b−−−h"? Did you know NeNe can afford to buy a car with "cash money"? Did you know NeNe is rich? Yes? OK, just checking, because if you did not know, she will remind you — over and over and over again.
Yes, NeNe is as new money as they come, emphasis on the "new." With estranged husband Greg out of the picture and an immature 21−year−old son — for whom she purchased the aforementioned car — tucked neatly under her wing, NeNe spent the better part of the new season's first two episodes reiterating that her bank account is no longer in the red.
NeNe's attitude definitely contributed to the episode−onesmackdown ending — why does it seem that all seasons of RHoA either begin or end with Sheree and Nene bumping heads? — in which Sheree brought up how NeNe tried to weasel her way into a press appearance in Philadelphia. The "she−said−she−saidthe−party−promoter−said" routine is getting a little old, ladies. How about some hand−to−hand combat next time, like you all are always threatening? Please?
Sheree spent most of the first two episodes chatting up her gal−pal Lawrence and trying to coax her adolescent son out of his shell. The discomfort onscreen was palpable — the young man was practically screaming for paternal involvement. That makes sense enough, as Sheree's ex, NFL player Bob Whitfield, appears to be missing in action in the lives of his children.
Meanwhile, in Relatively Functional Land, everything seems to be coming up roses for ex−supermodel Cynthia Bailey. In episode one, she seems content to play on the sidelines, allowing more vocal cast members to take center stage — and make fools of themselves in the process. Classy move, Cynthia. We see Cynthia starting up a modeling agency meets modeling school, with the help of her uber−fabulous friend J. "Miss J." Alexander, of "America's Next Top Model" fame.
Aforementioned Grammy−winning super songwriter and performer, Kandi, is creating a literal hum around Atlanta with her budding sex−toy venture. For a single mother, Kandi is far from worried about living a sexless life. She invited co−star and high−powered attorney Phaedra Parks and Sheree to … sample … some buzz−worthy items from Kandi's upcoming line. Because when you are getting it on — well, off — you want to think of KandiBurruss. Thanks, girl.
And then there is Phaedra. Oh, Phaedra. As if having a real career, a toddler and a husband were not work enough, we find her considering a venture into mortuary science. That is correct: Homegirl wants a funeral home. In a never−ending quest to remain relevant, it seems that Mrs. Parks believes that in death, she will be immortal. Dream big, honey.
After only two episodes, the ladies leave viewers exhausted, but optimistic. With a confirmation that Kim and Kroy have their own wedding spin−off coming up, a la "Bethenny Getting Married" (2010), there is more than enough nouveau riche to go around in the coming months. All the players are back at their games of shameless self−involvement, self−promotion and self−esteem boosting.
However, every shtick has its stale point. After four seasons of NeNe's obvious dissatisfaction with her marriage, will we finally see a divorce or be forced to toe the line of "blah" with her throughout the season? And what of Phaedra's impending entrepreneurial venture? Is it just her postpartum finally kicking in, or an attempt to remain film−worthy?
The Atlanta ladies should take a page from the "Real Housewives of New Jersey" playbook and remember that no personality is too small or too big to be replaced — hi, Danielle Staub and Dina Manzo. Hopefully, the glow of financial independence and Louboutin flaunting wears dim for these women so they can get back to entertaining the voracious masses.
