A week or two ago, my host parents had a few guests over for dinner. They were family friends from Amsterdam: very interesting, opinionated and not afraid to tell a story. My host parents wanted my housemate and I there to act as jesters. We were to be the entertainment for dinner.
At one point, the conversation turned to my generation and how we are ‘always on our damn phones.’ During this conversation, one of the guests pulled out a flip phone and proudly announced, “This is my phone.”
I couldn’t believe my eyes. As a newly 21-year-old, I had never seen a flip phone before other than in museums and old black-and-white movies.
He let us examine it, almost like a relic. He showed us how it worked — the ancient keypad, the snap of opening it and answering a call. We were in utter awe.
But not everyone at the table felt the same. The other guests instead expressed their discontent with his flip phone. They pointed out all of the challenges: how hard it was to locate him, the poor camera quality and the overall slow communication.
In response to this, he shrugged and simply said, “I’ll do what I want.”
While his very direct statement had a pretty negative effect on the other guests (he quickly took over my housemate and I’s job as jester and entertainment), his statement really stuck with me.
Having a flip phone in 2026 is anything but practical, and that was made very clear. However, despite the inconvenience and despite his friends’ constant pleas and criticisms, he continues to use his flip phone because it is what he wants.
For some reason, I couldn’t stop thinking about that. Because, at the end of the day, doing what you want — actually doing it, without bending to the expectations of others or external pressures — is a lot harder than it sounds.
That idea of doing what you truly want has been something I’ve struggled with throughout my adult life. I often find myself at the intersection of trying to build relationships and wanting to explore my own interests.
Even here in Barcelona, I can look back and pinpoint moments where I chose to follow the group, simply because I was too hesitant to venture off on my own and pursue what I wanted.
Do I regret those moments when I follow the pack? No. I love hanging out with my friends. But there’s always a small twinge in the back of my mind that reminds me of the choice I made.
As my time here in Barcelona — and at Tufts — winds down, I want to start focusing on what I want to do. My time here is limited, and while I love hanging out with my friends, I can’t let that stop me from following my own personal goals.
Of course, I don’t think the answer is always to go your own way and be a lone wolf. Some of my best memories have come from saying yes, from going along with plans, from being surrounded by people who make me feel happy and loved. But I’m starting to realize that there’s a difference between choosing what you want to do and doing what you feel you have to. The difference is intention.
And maybe that is what stuck with me at the dinner table. It wasn’t necessarily about the flip phone, but rather the confidence and intention behind it. His ability to make a choice, stand by it and not feel the need to justify it.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get to that point. But as my life continues to progress, I want to get better at asking myself this simple question:
What do I want?
Yearning,
Ben Rachel
