The sun is out, and Prez Lawn is the hottest spot on campus for athletes who think that shower shoes are an appropriate everyday choice and whose newest spring accessory is a 128-ounce plastic water jug. However, with that comes finals that quietly creep over the horizon, signalling that the semester is coming to a close. It’s bittersweet, as our time with you is also coming to an end, and we’ve truly enjoyed every minute hearing about your naughty little lives. For our final week, we’d like to offer you a rapid-fire advice session on all the questions and confessions we’ve accumulated over the course of the semester that have not yet seen the light of day.
Q: I just super bombed my midterm, and it wasn’t an, ‘Oh, I missed a few questions,’ moment, it was literally submitted half-answered. … How do I come back from this?!
A: Let me tell you a story about a bloke who got a 38% on his chemistry midterm and still ended that class with a B+. If this does not give you the confidence to know that a comeback is possible, then our advice is to accept the loss with grace. Kidding! But only kind of. In this hyper-perfectionist society, sometimes we need to learn that failure is okay! It happens to all of us. So take the L, lock in for the final and maybe learn to settle for that B.
Q: I know a guy who cheated this summer, and he just posted his one year with his girlfriend. ... Should I DM her?
A: Two questions:
- Are you prepared to be the messenger and seen as the problem? If not, no.
- How much involvement do you really want in their relationship?
My only caveat to this is if it directly impacts you. If you are merely a bystander, I suggest staying out of it and letting their freaky little relationship implode on its own (because I promise you, it will).
Q: How do you fight winter depression? Please, it’s so cold and dark, and my skin is dry, and I have so much work and I’m always hungry, ugh.
A: We hope you’re doing better, as it has officially been a whole two weeks since the last snowstorm. Unfortunately, as much as we’d like to give you a solution, we also have not cracked the code on this one. But in lieu of telling you to transfer to a school in California, we’d suggest seeking as much sunlight and water as possible, and regular sweet treats because you deserve it. And since we’re in Massachusetts, where chronic vitamin D deficiency runs rampant, I’d like to recommend an artificial light therapy lamp, if all else fails.
Q: I have a friend whose boyfriend cheated on her, and she forgave him, but he’s still a bum. What should I do?
A: Her funeral — don’t waste your emotional energy. Unfortunately, more often than not, people don’t dump their boyfriends because other people told them to. You can hate him in silence, but don’t ruin a friendship over this.
Q: How do I make more friends?
A: Remember, everyone else is also struggling with this and pretending they’re not. For more thoughts, please see our column from a couple of weeks ago.
Q: Right now, I have a friend who is not going to classes, and I’m concerned for her. What should I do?
A: If you’re concerned for her GPA, unfortunately, besides reminding her that academic probation is not a joke (I would know — I didn’t do the hazing training and was put on it for a whole 24 hours), there’s not much you can do.
However, not going to class can be a symptom of other issues. If you’re concerned for her wellbeing, try bribing her with a sweet treat or any incentive to get her out of bed. If that doesn’t work, Tufts does, in fact, employ people whose entire job is to help (Counseling and Mental Health Service or Ears for Peers), which is a much better plan than you becoming her full-time therapist.
Now that we’ve aired all your dirty laundry, enjoy your clean slates. Summer is a reset, whether you’ve earned it or not.
See you next fall,
Sharper Advice
