College is all about new experiences, one of which is sharing your room. But it goes somewhat against human nature to begin living with someone five minutes after you have just met. What if she's a freak who meows to her boyfriend over video chat? What if he watches you change for practice while sitting on the bed, pretending to read? What if she waxes her eyebrows, arms and upper lip every morning before you've even had coffee? To all freshmen: Yes, these stories are true, but I promise all victims are survivors. And you will be, too.
Everyone can pretend to be nice. But MTV's Real World wasn't lying; everything changes when people "stop being polite — and start being real." This is not to say that some people do not meet their best friend by random assignment. However, for some, the experience is not so romantic, and when they stop being polite, they start being weird. Here are three simple rules to help you avoid a roommate catastrophe.
1. Don't justify certain behaviors: It's okay, for instance, if she showers late at night. It's also okay if she takes over an hour to wash, blow-dry and straighten her hair, while you are out of the shower and ready to go in under ten minutes. These are quirks, and these are acceptable. It is in learning to accept these traits about someone and work around each other that one learns to live with someone else. However, if he asks to sleep in your bed because it's what "he and his brother do," and your gut reaction tells you it's strange, it is. Later that day when your mom gasps through the receiver in response, do not reply "But he keeps his desk so clean," or, "He told me I could share his popcorn." A desk can be messy and popcorn is cheap, but you must accept the fact that you are dealing with one of "those" roommates — the ones you feared. Embrace it. Things will only get easier when you stop pretending.
2. Get involved in other activities: If you and your roommate aren't the next Romy and Michele, don't stress! There are plenty of other people at Tufts anxious to meet you and find out what you're all about. The same goes for your freaky roommate, though, so take caution. If the two of you aren't clicking, don't force things. Do not follow him to make friends, because odds are where he ends up, you don't want to be: underground, for instance.
3. Be firm, yet civil: If she asks you to stay out of the room between the hours of 12 noon and 6 p.m. on Saturdays because she needs alone time, kindly say that the room belongs to both of you. Perhaps suggest she spends time alone in the library or in the local psychiatrist's office. Just because one of you has habits, normal or otherwise, the space is still shared. Don't let yourself be pushed around in fear of the crazy lady's wrath. Residential assistants and higher administration can restrain her if necessary.
While you may be frightened, it is likely these situations won't happen to you. However, in the off chance you find her writing lipstick insults on her mirror to avoid prematurely the freshman fifteen, or he carves your name into his desk, know you have been warned. Do give your roommate a chance, as you can never be sure of something until you try it. But at any warning signs, refer to rule one. If all else fails, there's always ResLife!
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Anna Christian is a junior majoring in psychology and community health. She can be reached at Anna.Christian@tufts.edu.
