Ask me whether I find someone attractive, and I’ll try my best to revert to my first impression of said individual. I will do this because I know that once you’ve crossed the border of objective physical appraisal and thrown in the external variable of personality, apparent beauty changes completely.
There are times when you meet someone attractive, they talk and you wish they’d never opened their mouths. Had they not spoken, they might have remained beautiful. But they’ve ruined that magnificent effect of untouchable perfection, they’ve completely smeared it, really, with the crap coming out of their mouths. I once met this guy who said he never wanted to visit South America because it seemed unhygienic. Five minutes into the conversation and already his words were painting him as myopic, inducing in me the sole response of bewildered disgust. I pointed out that keyboards are more unhygienic than toilet seats and that it clearly didn’t stop him from mauling them as if he wanted to spawn their future child. You can be an aesthetically pleasing human being, a real goldmine of human genetics -- but realize that the effect is short-lived.
In this same way, however, personality can render an initially average-looking individual incredibly attractive. It might be a platitude that how you see yourself is reflected in how others see you, and yet someone who exudes confidence somehow inspires respect in the eyes of others. A person who cultivates a prominent sense of humor, whether it be dry and self-deprecating or ingeniously upfront, grows in magnitudes before your eyes. Talent, for example, seems to levitate a person into such a level of borderline perfection that it is somewhat mind-boggling. If someone picks up a guitar and channels their malleable fingers into the creation of pure art, chances are most of the crowd will openly, or viscerally, swoon. Someone who moves around the soccer field in such a fine balance between grace and fervent strength has the potential to become beautiful. It is the dexterity with which someone handles something that is foreign to us that bestows upon them a certain type of power. In that same way, certain personality traits insight us to will someone’s presence to be constant and more concrete in our lives. Positive personality traits like wit and intelligence, among others, have the power to extend someone’s sway over you until it surpasses the tangible and superficialness of the physical.
I’m not saying beauty does not play a significant role in attraction, and I’m not underestimating the importance of a deeper chemical attraction rooted in physical attributes. However, personality does have the capacity to instill some chemistry on the basis of admirable qualities, qualities that invoke respect, admiration and, yes, attraction to another individual. You can be the poster child for Greek Gods Reproduce but have such a vapid and stultifying personality that ends up lowering your appeal significantly. Then again, some people manage to focus solely on physical attributes and remain unperturbed by evident faults in personality. That’s understandable too. If anything, I’d say it’s admirable, really. They’ll be tied to a beauty that withers with time and a personality that festers even more with old age. All power to you.
