Q: I’m a freshman, and it’s my first week here. My roommate already has a whole friend group and my orientation leader keeps saying “It’s a marathon, not a sprint,” like that’s supposed to help. I’ve already eaten alone at Dewick twice. Am I doing college wrong?
A: First of all, breathe. Second of all, welcome to Tufts!
For all you new faces, we here at Sharper Advice are here to give you sometimes-solicited — but more often not — advice on your lives here on the Hill. Whether you’re a freshman meeting your roommate for the first time or a senior back for one last lap, chances are you already have a problem you’re too embarrassed to say out loud. So tell us, instead.
Here’s what we think: As people who have experienced the hell that is the first few weeks of college, we can tell you with 100% certainty that you have nothing to worry about. If you don’t want to transfer within the first couple of days, you’re doing it wrong. I, personally, settled on not transferring in late October.
So are you actually doing college wrong?
Just because your roommate has friends does not mean you have failed at college. It probably means your roommate met some people and that’s it. They are not winning a secret freshman competition, and they are probably just as miserable as you are. In fact, we would argue that you should be suspicious of anyone who has their entire college social circle figured out by Labor Day. Give it a month. Give it a semester. Give it a year. People change. Friend groups change. You will meet someone in an extremely boring class, at a party, in a club, looking for a table at Tisch, when the third fire drill happens in your dorm at 2 a.m.
And then there’s Dewick…
We know that eating alone in a dining hall feels like the social equivalent of standing in the middle of campus with a sign that says ‘I HAVE NO FRIENDS.’ But truthfully, nobody cares. Partly because we’ve all been there, and partly because everyone is far too busy trying to decide who they should sit with, whether the pasta will be a good shape or whether the line cutter deserves jail time.
And please, for your own sake, do not make a big decision this week about who your friends are. First-semester friend groups end up being the nightmare blunt rotation you laugh about with your forever friends once you’ve found them. They’re out there, we promise. It just takes time.
Welcome to the Hill. We’re glad you’re here.
Sharper Advice
