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Theater Review | Hillesum's writings come alive in play

It all begins with an apology. The beautiful, intelligent Etty Hillesum (played by Anne Gottlieb) seems like the very last person who would need to ask for forgiveness, but she does so nonetheless in a manner that makes the audience's heart ache before even knowing her story. "The Wrestling Patient," making its world premier at the Nancy and Edward Roberts Studio at the Boston Center for the Arts, places the story of a young and disturbed woman in Amsterdam during World War II before the eyes of contemporary viewers.


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From the Office of the Tufts Daily

Dear Vincent Offer Schlomi (a.k.a. ShamWOW Guy), We get it. In this bad economy it must be hard to be a pitchman for such a ridiculous product as the ShamWOW (a super absorbent chamois that doesn't really work like you tell us) and the SlapChop (a vegetable slicer which has been around for ages). It doesn't surprise us that you would turn to carnal comforts, or that you would have to buy the companionship of a woman. We couldn't see anyone actually wanting to spend any time with you based off your sleazy pitches and awful self-written, produced and directed straight-to-DVD bomb. But you crossed a line, a fine line and code of ethics when dealing with a sex-for-hire worker. Even if you do something to piss her off and she bites your tongue, you shouldn't retaliate physically; you take your money and get out of there instead of using your "SlapChop" action to give her a shiner. Who knew that you, of all people, a spiky-haired, nasally voiced, Seacrest lookalike could pack a punch that would totally destroy a woman's face? Did she really deserve that? To take words from your own commercial, "Life is hard as it is, you don't want to cry anymore" -- too bad your mug shot is making people all over the world cry tears of laughter. You look aged, frazzled and totally beaten on. Maybe it's time to give it all up. You've definitely jumped the shark and there are plenty of other spokesmen out there we would rather see on our televisions all the time (read: Billy Mays, all day, everyday... or that British guy that you see every so often). Since the prosecutors declined to file charges against either you or the prostitute, maybe it is time to take a vacation with all your products in tow. You know, something like this: "tacos, fettuccini, linguini, martini, bikini." Sincerely, The Daily Arts Department


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Arts

Mikey Goralnik | Paint the Town Brown

There are two ways to look at the "live music" heard at the Boston Derby Dames' first bout of the 2009 season. One would be to write about the band that played at halftime -- I forget their name, but it was something like I Hate My Dad: Feel My Angst. The problem with this approach is that it's a dead-end. IHMD:FMA's show was the most painfully, unlistenable thing in recent memory, and that's pretty much the end of that thought. So, yeah, how 'bout the weather?


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Arts

TD Banknorth Garden serves as a home for athletes, comedians and artists alike

TD Banknorth Garden, originally the Fleet Center, is a structure of imposing size that is evident when driving along The Leonard P. Zakim Bunker Hill Bridge, Boston's newest landmark. The venue primarily functions as home court and home ice for both the Boston Celtics and Boston Bruins, but during off-seasons and away games it serves as Boston's biggest concert venue.


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Arts

Top Ten | Artistic class that the ExCollege should offer

With registration just around the corner, you're probably thinking about which courses you'll sign up for next semester. If you've been searching SIS night and day, only to slowly accept that the course you're looking for just isn't there, we at the Daily Arts Department want you to know that you're not alone. We feel your pain, and in response, we've come up with a list of artistic, albeit quirky, courses that we would like to see the Experimental College offer next semester. Read them and dream about what it would be like to spend two and a half hours of your week on these fascinating subjects.


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Arts

Better Off Ted' may be better off the air

    The workplace comedy has become a staple of television over the past few years. Some these shows are wildly successful, but many try to be "The Office" and fail miserably. Even though there are some funny jokes and even a few memorable ones, "Better Off Ted" is yet another one of these dismal wannabes.     The titular Ted, played by Jay Harrington, runs the research and development section of Veridian Dynamics. The company is always inventing new things, from weapons to food to food that can be used as a weapon. Often the inventions are less than ethical or safe for the public, but Ted's boss, Veronica (Portia de Rossi), thinks that making money is more important than keeping the public safe.     Working in the lab to develop all of these fascinating new projects are Phil (Jonathan Slavin) and Lem (Malcolm Barrett), two brilliant and nerdy scientists. The conflict begins when Veronica asks Phil to cryogenically freeze himself for the company in the name of technology advancement. When he agrees and is accidentally thawed out a few days later, there are some bizarre side effects that worry the company.     The other important player in the cast is Ted's crush, Linda (Andrea Anders). But because he slept with Veronica, he refuses to have another office affair. Ted tries to ignore his feelings for her even as they grow stronger every time he sees her.     The plot of "Better Off Ted" is inanely simple. There are only five characters of interest, and most of them aren't really that interesting, especially the protagonist. While Harrington is not a bad actor, the character of Ted is too boring to hold any viewer's interest. He isn't funny, but he isn't serious, either, since he works for a company that produces dangerous consumer goods on a daily basis. He mostly just serves as a mirror for the insanity of Veridian Dynamics.     The supporting characters are not much better. Phil and Lem's awkward interactions are supposed to be funny, but never are, due to the childish dialogue they are given in the show's script. Their fights are reminiscent of Spanky and Alfalfa from "The Little Rascals" without the cute-child factor. Ted's love interest Linda is incredibly boring, and it is very difficult to believe that intelligent and handsome Ted would ever fall in love with her.     The only saving grace of this show is the comedic brilliance that is Portia de Rossi. Her portrayal of the ice queen Veronica is highly off-putting and incredibly funny. From the way her hair is always pulled back into a ridiculously tight bun to her inability to effectively make small talk, Veronica is the epitome of a stuck-up, no-nonsense boss.     One aspect of the show that has potential to be funny is the ridiculous inventions that Phil and Lem are forced to design. They have to grow cow-less meat in the lab but must avoid naming the slab of meat so as not to become attached to it. They build a moldy pumpkin that can be utilized as a weapon of mass destruction by rotting people from the inside out. Veronica also worries about a killer cyborg that has been having problems distinguishing between soldiers and children.     Possibly the funniest part of the show is the opening sequence, which shows a Veridian Dynamics commercial that documents the important discoveries the company has recently made. Narrated by de Rossi, the commercials showcase the absurdity of Veridian Dynamics. The company's inventions are designed to make a quick profit until the public realizes the worthlessness of the product and then move on to the next one.     While the actors' skills are largely impressive, they are not given much to work with, and much of the show's dialogue falls flat. All in all, the show has a few good elements, but it really is not worth watching as an up-and-coming comedy show.



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Arts

Graphic violence and tragedy propel dramatic but unoriginal 'Sin Nombre'

    If the recent news coverage of violence and brutality in Mexico has not yet impacted Americans' perceptions of Latin America, then the tragic, intense film "Sin Nombre" certainly will.     In his feature debut, writer/director Cary Fukunaga intertwines the story of Sayra (played by Paulina Gaitan), a Honduran teenager taking a bold step to change her future, and El Casper (Edgar Flores), a gang member looking for a way out. On the long and treacherous road to the United States, Sayra and Casper unite through loss and heart-wrenching drama to help each other survive.     Filmed across several locations in Mexico and Honduras, "Sin Nombre" begins as Sayra and her formerly estranged father prepare to make the weeklong journey to a new life in far-away New Jersey. Meanwhile, Casper pals around the streets with 12-year-old "Smiley" (Kristian Ferrer), looking for trouble. His secret girlfriend from another town soon proves to be a liability, and Casper must abandon everything to save himself. With a target on his head, Casper meets Sayra under dire circumstances on the train and their fates become inextricably linked.     The primary goal of "Sin Nombre" is to recreate an accurate representation of the struggles and motivations of these travelers. This is reflected through rich cinematography, which differs from other films like "City of God" (2002) and "Slumdog Millionaire" (2008), but depicts similarly poor and hopeless communities. The director's insistence upon on-location shooting and inexperienced, local casting gives the film a feeling of reality. Through weeks of research on Mexican prisons and shelters and riding the train on three occasions as unprotected as other passengers, Fukunaga experienced directly or was told about many of the moments he later chose to include in his script.     "Sin Nombre" is notable for its raw performances. Fukunaga's efforts to convince Focus Features executives to cast local actors with limited or no acting experience proved worthwhile; his casting team produced the breakout stars Gaitan and Ferrer. Gaitan fashions a Casper that redeems himself with believable grace in spite of the danger lurking behind every corner. Ferrer, too, delivers with dark humor and frightening resilience. Cary Fukunaga underscores these actors with a suspenseful pulse that drives the film to its dramatic end and keeps the audience on its feet.     It is hard to divert one's eyes from the graphic violence portrayed on screen, even though it is especially disturbing. The violence is so effective because it is often observed, and in some instances instigated, by the film's youngest, most vulnerable character, Smiley. Eerily, Smiley has an equal, if not greater indifference to human suffering as the rest of the gang. He is even forced to bring the one who betrayed him and the rest of the Mara gang to justice, or he himself will have a price on his head. Smiley's mission represents the film's core: the depressing, inescapable fates of many impoverished Latin Americans. Although the plot does take some unexpected turns and develops believable characters, the film's conclusion is relatively predictable. Despite its emotional merit, "Sin Nombre" consistently lacks an original vision, however realistic and visually spectacular it may be.     After being recognized at Sundance for his dramatic short on a related subject, "Victoria Para Chino" (2004), Fukunaga was admitted to the Sundance Film Institute, which sponsored a workshop for the script of "Sin Nombre." Fukunaga's work also drew the attention of Focus Features and Canana, the production company managed by Gael García Bernal and Diego Luna, which produced the film for a mere $5,000. Having won in both the directing and cinematography categories at 2009's Sundance Film Festival, "Sin Nombre" is a remarkable and incredibly ambitious first film. It's worth keeping an eye on Fukunaga and the Latin American actors whom he discovered.


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Zach Drucker and Chris Poldoian | Bad Samaritans

Hollywood A-Listers (the filthy rich, philanthropic stars featured in big-budgeted, Oscar-winning films) have always reigned atop the B- and C-listers (SNL-burnouts, reality TV stars and Ron Jeremy). Yet, once upon a time, there existed a BA-list, and we don't mean Bachelor of Arts. This was a time when actors made memorable movies and lived on the wild side. Hollywood was home to hard workers and even harder partiers, but this has since changed.     In today's Tinseltown, formerly edgy actors are trading in their bad-boy images for straighter personas. Robert Downey, Jr. kicked his drug habit and Leonardo DiCaprio started making environmental documentaries. Yet those two are nothing compared to their whipped counterpart, Tobey Maguire. This teetotaler penciled in a paternity clause for his upcoming film, "Spider-Man 4" (2011), eliminating shooting at night so he could spend time with his family. Maybe Spider-Man needs to save his marriage before he saves the world.     What happened to rejoicing in the quirkiness and absurdity of actors? Behavior like that of Jack Nicholson, who was known for his legendary "sexploits" and his inability to settle down with one woman, has died out. And the Marlon Brandos of the world seem to have disappeared. Brando, who was always hungry for Pay Days, in both candy and money forms, required millions to shoot "Apocalypse Now" (1979). But this class clown never did his homework. He often showed up to set late, drunk, fat and not having read the script. Not many actors nowadays would have the gusto to pull Brando's shenanigans.     Don't forget Sean Penn's former persona, "The Paparazzi Pummeler," or Nick Nolte, whose hilarious mug shot set the bar high for all future substance-abusing thespians. How come that kind of behavior is no longer acceptable? Sure, these guys were jerks, but their colorful personalities complemented their amazing abilities. They were as interesting onscreen as they were off.     In Mickey Rourke's case, his thuggish demeanor actually helped resurrect his career. In the '90s, the tabloids chronicled Rourke's infamous downward spiral into a decade of drug and spousal abuse. Then, this past year, he overcame past battles and received universal praise for his performance in "The Wrestler" (2008). His portrayal of washed-up wrestler Randy "The Ram" Robinson wouldn't have been anywhere near poignant had viewers not watched his own struggles in life.     Straight-edged-ness has also infected the music industry. Take rock music, for instance. Once upon a time, The Rolling Stones waxed poetic about chasing jailbait and taking drugs. Now, rock music's premier artists wear purity rings and preach chastity. Curse you, Jonas Brothers! You guys have as much edge and personality as a hardboiled egg.     Others bands, like Coldplay, concern themselves with world peace. Yes, their songs may be catchy, but they are nothing more than British-based enhancements of "Kumbaya." Plus, Coldplay has a No Hard Substances policy. If we're not mistaken, the expression goes "Sex, Drugs and Rock ‘N' Roll," not "Abstinence, Tea and Schlock Rock." And don't even get us started on Nickelback.     Rappers, on the other hand, have taken to the former Rock ‘N' Roll lifestyle. Hearing Three 6 Mafia rap about "sippin' on some sizzurp" while admiring the "juiciness" of the female anatomy shows us that there is indeed a glimmer of hope for the future.     We are by no means condoning drugs or partying. We're just saying, "live a little!" In our politically correct world, it's rare to find characters as eccentric and colorful as those from the entertainment industry's days of yore. And, come on, without wild partying, we would never have "Animal House" (1978) or "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" (1967).


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Arts

Young talent and imagery not enough to keep 'Paris' afloat

    The Paris neighborhood of Faubourg in "Paris 36" (2009) is one that American audiences know well. Similar to the setting of "Amélie" (2001), it's a slightly tamer version of the romanticized, magical-reality location from "Moulin Rouge" (2001). Unfortunately, despite its setting, "Paris 36" blends conventional plot devices and all-too-familiar characters to create an entirely bland film.     When the curtains of the Chansonia vaudeville theater are set to fall for the last time, stage manager Pigoil (played by Gérard Jugnot) and his friends are determined not to give up the place where they earn a living and have found so much happiness. Pigoil is at the center of a battle with Monsieur Galapiat (Bernard-Pierre Donnadieu), the evil, wealthy politician who bought the theater property and refuses to back down from his decision to close it. In his personal life, Pigoil also faces hardship. Custody of his son, Jojo (Maxence Perrin), has been relinquished to his wife who recently left him because he lacks a steady source of income. Pigoil, however, enlists his buddies Jacky (Kad Merad) and Milou (Clovis Cornillac), and together they set out to reclaim the Chansonia by occupying the theater and proving to Galapiat that they can produce something profitable.     Prospects are bleak until a young woman, Douce (Nora Arnezeder), performs for the first time on the empty stage with commanding presence and flair. Douce's charm and sweet-tempered nature are evident from the start (and even obvious in her name). As the film continues, a love triangle develops and more conflict occurs between the Chansonia owners and Pigoil's group. All of this drama is glossed over through song, dance and comedy.     Unfortunately, whatever potential the plot of "Paris 36" has is lost in overly contrived and predictable attempts to move the story along. It doesn't help that the movie's characters lack substance and may give audiences a feeling of déjà vu, as they are so familiar that they seem to have been taken directly from other films. Only the actors' talent keeps the characters interesting.     Yet "Paris 36" does make for an interesting comparison to the real world. While the small neighborhood of pre-World War II France depicted in the film could be described as dreamlike, the struggle of Faubourg's desperate residents to stay afloat is very timely considering past and present economic turmoil. That said, the film's social and historical relevance is greatly overshadowed by its over-the-top, colorful, saccharine production values, its cinematography and its fast-paced editing. The lush sequences of "Paris 36" and its impressive opening (a two-minute crane shot descending from the sky into the theater) were executed by none other than Tom Stern, Clint Eastwood's preferred cinematographer.     The film's near-flawless technical aspects only draw greater attention to the cast. Jugnot, who worked with writer/director Christophe Barratier on "Les Choristes" (2004), gives just as good a performance in this film, but the character, Pigoil, is not very memorable. Nonetheless, Jugnot is fortunate to be among great company, especially that of newcomer Nora Arnezeder.     It is rare to watch a movie for the first time and see the birth of a star. But, from the moment Douce enters the Chansonia, it's clear that this adorable, 19-year-old actress is here to stay. And, as her character begins to open up and mature as a performer, her transformation is similar to Marion Cotillard's portrayal of Edith Piaf in "La Vie En Rose" (2007).     Barratier was inspired to write "Paris 36" after hearing some records from the 1930s era, and he sought out Reinhardt Wagner and Frank Thomas to helm the film's musical numbers. Most of the cast manages to sing fairly well. The few songs performed, including the great sequence inspired by Busby Berkeley's films, provide relief from the movie's otherwise heavy plot, and it's a shame it doesn't include more.     "Paris 36" tries very hard to be a lot of different things. It floats between being a comedy, drama, musical and the community-getting-together-to-do-something-important genre, but never settles on one. Aside from finding Arnezeder at an open casting call and its superb cinematography, the film is far from a home run for Barratier.


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Arts

Panel meets to discuss 'The Value of Art'

    In the wake of Brandeis University's decision to close The Rose Art Museum, a debate about the role of art in university education has perhaps never been more timely. A panel entitled "The Value of Art: The Place of Art in the University Today,"  moderated by Eva Hoffman, an associate professor of art history, took place last Thursday evening in the Remis Sculpture Court at the Tufts University Art Gallery. Panelists included professors and administrators from Tufts University, and an artist and professor from the School of the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston (SMFA).


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Miss March' fails as a fresh teen sex comedy

Funny-men Trevor Moore and Zach Cregger of sketch-comedy group The Whitest Kids U Know fame debuted on the silver screen with a sex-comedy road-trip romp. As expected from this genre, the film is filled with predictable banal banter between the two best friends, locker-room humor and a healthy dose of shock value. But while "Miss March" as a whole is doomed to join the catalog of formulaic films aimed toward male teenagers, Moore and Cregger deliver flickers of comedic gold that will, at the very least, amuse audiences.


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Torn Ticket II's major production 'Into The Woods' opens tonight

Torn Ticket II's major spring production, "Into the Woods," opens tonight in Cohen Auditorium. One of musical genius Stephen Sondheim's most popular plays, "Into the Woods" presents well-known fairy tales, such as Little Red Riding Hood and Cinderella, geared toward a more adult audience.     Producer Samantha Kindler, a sophomore, explained that "Into the Woods" isn't just a fairy tale, as some might assume.     "We wanted to approach the show in a darker, more adult way," Kindler said. "You can definitely see that in the set and the costumes, [and] also in interactions between certain characters."     Senior Ansley Fones is directing the play in her last semester here at Tufts. She chose "Into the Woods" because of the universal themes found in fairy tales. Fones hopes that students will be interested in seeing their old favorite fairy tales with a new spin.     "This is a show about storytelling," Fones said. "It takes the stories out of the realm of children's tales. It also reminds adults about the importance of ambiguous morals."     If the first act of the "Into the Woods" reminds the audience of all its favorite fairy tales, then the second act reminds viewers that there is life after ‘happily ever after.' The play deals with themes of insanity and adultery, but mainly, "Into the Woods" is about the complicated relationships between a parent and a child.     Mixed in with old favorites is a more original story about the Baker and the Baker's wife, loosely based on the "Rapunzel" fairy tale, which ties in with the rest of the traditional stories. The couple's marital troubles are explored alongside those of two obnoxiously charming princes and their inability to stay faithful to their princesses. All of the characters come together at one point or another in an intricate, original fairy tale.     "Into the Woods" runs tonight and Saturday at 8 p.m. and Sunday at 2 p.m. in Cohen Auditorium. Tickets are being sold at the Balch Arena Theater Box Office for $7.


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Landed' in Somerville

Check out the Arts Department's blog, "The Scene," on TuftsDaily.com for more photos of Ben Folds' performance at the Somerville Theatre on Tuesday night.


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Mikey Goralnik | Paint the Town Brown

One of the most amusing parts of forward-thinking electronic music is how eerily similar it seems to the most soulless and derivative sectors of social life. In some ways, cutting-edge music encourages and constitutes the new ideas that eventually blossom into new ways of living. In others, though, it would be difficult to distinguish the arrangements and mentalities of progressive electronic music culture from those "evolving" at a Hot Topic-sponsored lecture series featuring Kathy Griffin, Kevin Federline and Vincent Gallo, with a keynote address by Bono and a closing haiku by Ashton Kutcher.


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Comedy festival blossoms into benefit for Seeds of Peace

Cheap laughs can go a long way toward making a valuable contribution to one's community; at least, that's the idea behind this weekend's first annual Laughs of Love comedy festival, sponsored by Cheap Sox, Tufts' improvisational comedy troupe. The festival, which will feature performances by four Tufts comedy groups and eight groups from other schools, will last from tonight until this Saturday. All proceeds will go to Seeds of Peace, an organization that brings together youth from conflict-ridden areas across the globe in the hope that future generations will be able to coexist peacefully. Bringing comedians together


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Arts

Top Ten | Animal characters in movies, TV and literature

    In honor of spring — the season in which cute little baby critters are born — (allegedly) arriving in Boston, we at the Arts Department were suddenly seized with the desire to compile a list of our favorite animal characters, and the reasons why they are so awesome. Hopefully now People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) will stop chucking Molotov cocktails into our Top Secret Arts Department Animal Testing Facility, whose purpose is unknown, and whose existence we routinely deny. Still, we hardly see how setting our genetically modified attack-platypus on fire is not "ethical treatment." Finally, and without further nonsensical ado, the list: 10. Cat from "Breakfast at Tiffany's" (1961): Let's face it: The only things you remember from that movie are the kiss in the rain, the screenshot that 70 percent of female undergrads have posters of, and Cat. That pet deserves mad props for being as recognizable as Audrey Hepburn. 9. King Kong: Perhaps the largest and most misunderstood animal on this list, the gargantuan ape enjoys long walks on the beach, climbing the Empire State Building and roaring loudly at the injustices of a society that will not let him be free. Our hearts go out to you, Mr. Kong. We'll send you that metric ton of bananas just as soon as we can raise the money. 8. Harry from "Harry and the Hendersons" (1991): Yes, this is a real movie, not just the subject of the b-plot from a recent "30 Rock" episode. Harry was the man, despite being a yeti, and was able to teach the Hendersons valuable lessons about caring and family and stuff. Bigfoot might not exist, and if he does he might not look quite like John Lithgow, but we can always dream. 7. Rob Schneider in "The Animal" (2001): This human actor gets an honorable mention for acting, rather convincingly, like a variety of animals. C'mon, the title pretty much says it all. 6. Wishbone: He is the most well-read and versatile dog actor in the history of TV. The dog is hardcore — he dressed as Sydney Carton from "A Tale of Two Cities" (1859) and the other actors couldn't tell the difference between him and the human Charles Darnay. That takes serious skill. 5. Hedwig from "Harry Potter" (1997): We would like to have a moment of silence for this amazing pet. Even though you were Avada Kedavra-ed to your doom, we will always remember you as the tiny bundle of white squawky feathers from the first book. No other owl will ever replace you. *Sniff* 4. Sassy from "Homeward Bound" (1993): She survived falling off of a waterfall and found her way back to her owners. How awesome is that? Plus the witty banter that occurred between her and that mangy mutt Chance is how we like to imagine animals talking to one another on a daily basis. 3. Air Bud: Air Bud was a dog who played basketball, and, really, what more could anyone want? Since his 1997 debut, there have been 9 sequels to "Air Bud," including one in which his children (the Buddies) go to space. That's a movie that actually exists. We truly are living the dream. 2. Moby Dick: There are not many animals as ferocious as this gigantic albino whale that consistently evades capture by a crazed Captain Ahab. Someday, the Arts section might actually read Herman Melville's classic, but for now, we prefer to espouse our beliefs on Moby Dick's metaphorical significance based solely on hearsay. 1. Chewbacca: Hopefully we're not offending anyone out there by classifying Chewy as an animal, but seriously, he's the most awesome pet ever. He can drive spaceships, knows a secret language, would probably do your physics homework for you, and he even cleans up after himself. —compiled by the Daily Arts Department


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Duplicity' features little more than witty dialogue, big names in an average thriller

It's no "Michael Clayton" (2007), but it would be unfair to write off director Tony Gilroy's second effort as suffering from the proverbial sophomore slump. Sure, it won't be nominated for six Academy Awards or get him a nod for Best Director. In fact, it probably won't be nominated for anything. Thankfully, "Duplicity" never tries to be an award-winner.


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From the Office of the Tufts Daily

 Dear "MTV Spring Break 2009,"     There's nothing we like more than drunken flesh-fests, unless, of course, you count watching drunken flesh-fests from the safety and comfort of our parents' living-room sofas. That's why we always look forward to spring break, when we can turn to you, MTV, for our yearly dose of bump-and-grind voyeurism.     This year's spring break coverage, however, failed to arouse our curiosity in the same way that "MTV Spring Break 2008" did. Last year, it was much harder to thrust ourselves into the real world and accomplish more productive spring break activities like tanning, visiting friends, traveling or catching up on schoolwork.     We believe that this year's event, which took place at Panama City Beach, Fla., couldn't stand up to its predecessors, primarily because Ms. Tila Tequila was not involved. The featured artists, namely Lil' Wayne, Asher Roth and Jim Jones, failed to rise to the occasion in the same way that Ms. Tequila did last year. The featured shorts by The Lonely Island were also disappointing; it seemed as though the trio could never really get into the spring break mentality.     We firmly believe that Ms. Tequila embodies MTV Spring Break. She looks good in a bathing suit, she's profit-oriented and great at marketing herself, she'll have sex with just about anything that's breathing (though even that may not be a limitation), and, for God's sake, her name involves both alliteration and an alcoholic beverage.     Ms. Tequila is also a superb judge of quality relationships. Last year, she crowned a Spring Break Fantasy Couple. She moderated intense competitions in which, among other things, participants had to soap each other down and squirt toothpaste in their lovers' mouths. We applaud the fact that there were no fatties or even merely moderately attractive contestants; Ms. Tequila obviously understands the importance of superficial beauty.     So, MTV, next year we hope you include Tila Tequila in your spring break coverage. It's completely doable and easily a decision we could get behind. Yours truly, The Daily Arts Department


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Cornell and Timbaland break genre barriers

    Who could have imagined that Timbaland, one of the most sought-after hip-hop producers, and Chris Cornell, the archetypal frontman of hard rock, would join forces to create "Scream" (2009), a pop album of epic proportions? This legendary meeting of the minds is a giant step away from today's cookie-cutter pop music industry. "Scream" marks Cornell's bravest effort to date to shed labels and evade categorization. To diehard Soundgarden and Audioslave fans, this album may seem just as trite and insignificant as the run of the mill Top 40, but there are many exciting cogs turning underneath Timbaland's dependable but quirky dance beats. Cornell, for his part, has reinvigorated dance music with the raw, unbridled power he once fed into the grunge movement. Together, the pair achieves moderate success across this cohesive record.     Benefiting from the success of Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains, Cornell's band, Soundgarden, rose to fame in the early '90s as one of the most commercially successful acts on the Seattle grunge scene. Cornell already exhibited a vocal range and lyrical style unique in its honest portrayal of depression, loneliness and anxiety. Cornell later united with the band members of Rage Against the Machine to create Audioslave, one of the first rock supergroups of the 21st century.     The very existence of "Scream" fills a glaring hole that had developed in today's realm of popular music. With the advent of Auto-Tune, dance tracks no longer require a talented voice to find airplay. Additionally, songs often lack the emotional depth and musicality that could make them more than just something to move to.     Cornell and Timbaland attempt to deliver the whole package, mixing meaningful sounds with danceable ones. With Cornell's world-weary and often heartbreaking vocals, Timbaland's beats seem operatic and bordering on grandiose, perhaps in an attempt to match one of the strongest voices of the '90s and today. Unfortunately, the beats often mask Cornell's power, reducing his voice to one of the many computerized production elements. Despite each track's energy and driving rhythms, some beg for Cornell's unadulterated voice and his classic electric guitars. Maybe if each musician had ventured even further from his usual approach, a greater fusion of styles could have been achieved.     Though "Scream" is best listened to from start to finish, a handful of tracks stand out as strokes of two-minded genius. On the slower side, both "Long Gone" and "Scream" are beautifully crafted pop ballads with tender lyrics and sensitive production detail. "Long Gone" is especially enhanced by heavy percussion and subtle electric guitar. "Take Me Alive" is a hypnotic track with Middle-Eastern influences and haunting harmonies.     "Time" and "Get Up" are two of the better fast-paced dance tracks of the album. This is Cornell's weakest area, though, as his lyrics and vocals are strongest on the sweeping, emotionally-charged tracks. The upbeat tempos and heavy computerization mask the delicate nuances of Cornell's voice, tinged with years of alcoholic regret and drug-fueled depression.     "Scream" is a daring album guaranteed to shake up the music bubble of both pop-loving tweens and alternative aficionados. Regardless of Cornell's past and fans' widespread dismay at his partnership with Timbaland, records like "Scream" inject much-needed diversity into the flailing music industry.     In a business where trends change daily and relevance is ever elusive, Cornell continues to be a fixture of the music industry. Though his reinventions may be more subtle than those of Bowie or Madonna, Cornell's many faces and many bands have garnered him enormous respect. Hopefully, "Scream" will push Cornell further and deeper into his bottomless well of creativity.  


The Setonian
Arts

There is much to 'Love' in successful, bromantic comedy

                The premise of "I Love You, Man" is simultaneously extremely simple and very clever. Take decades of rom-coms (heck, centuries if you go back before film) where a guy/girl and his/her friend work together to get the love interest of his/her dreams. Then, switch around "friend" and "love interest." Suddenly, you have a whole new type of film and a rather enjoyable one at that. Where the Apatow crew (though Apatow himself is not attached to this project) has previously written stories of guy-love cloaked in other comedy genres (teen sex, romantic and drug), "I Love You, Man" finally tackles it with no pretenses.     The movie begins as Peter (played by Paul Rudd) proposes to Zooey (Rashida Jones). She accepts and immediately calls her BFFs. Peter doesn't because, well, he has no BFFs. He gets along quite fine with the ladies (he's every girl's gay-best-friend-turned-straight), but not the fellas. After about 30 years of living sans-bromance, he realizes that maybe something is missing from his life.     What follows in the first act are a series of terrible "first dates" as Peter tries to find the best friend of his dreams. "Guy-love" hilariously becomes so conflated that it would be great to re-watch this movie with a few gender studies professors. And yet, none of it seems forced. In fact, if anything, the awkward pauses on the "dates" and rejections during the "asking-outs" only go to show that there really is a fine line between wanting to be someone's friend and wanting to be their significant other. The movie is well aware that questions like "Do they like me that way? Am I cool enough? Do we have enough in common?" apply equally well to both situations.     Finally, enter Sydney (Jason Segel). He's  the opposite of the upper-middle-class Peter, and yet their relationship works and not in that typical, cliché, "opposites-attract" way. The two have genuine chemistry. Their "flirtation" dispels any initial eye-rolling one might expect at the pairing.     This is really the overall strength of the movie: Wherever you think it could stumble into a cliché, the actors and script manage to swerve away from that pitfall. Rudd works both as a straight man who is dealing with the madness around him and as the awkward-slang-dropping guy who just wants to be liked. Segel is simultaneously the guy we would all want as our best friend and who would scare us to death that he might ruin our lives.     As for Jones, one might be hesitant about her character at first. Maybe it's difficult to not project her character, Karen, from "The Office" onto Zooey, but it seems as though the audience can see exactly where Zooey is going. She sort of goes there, but in a different, far more graceful way than predicted. The supporting characters all hit it out of the park, particularly Peter's brother and dad, who is played by the great J.K. Simmons.     As for the script, again, there's a lot to love. John Hamburg really nails a lot of those scenes from life that we've all experienced but which we never think about. In a tux-shopping session, for example, Sydney obsesses over getting the right pose from Peter for a goofy photo. It later becomes a more important plot point, but at the moment, audiences can all smile and know they've had the friend who cares a bit too much about the results of a day out with the digital camera.     Probably the strangest compliment this film earns is for its perfect use of the F-word. It doesn't use it too sparingly, but doesn't slather the script in it either. Every time it's used, it perfectly punctuates the scene.     Sadly, "I Love You, Man" is not perfect. It does have its contrived bits. The character of Tevin, while amusing for the first few minutes, soon wears out his welcome and feels shoe-horned into the film for a portrait of the "bad-bro." Furthermore, the whole third-act conflict is forced and predictable. The film seems aware of its limits, however, and ultimately, not too much is made this conflict.     Of course, these are ultimately minor complaints. The film is a strong two hours of enjoyment, and viewers will walk out feeling all warm and fuzzy, just wanting to hang out with their best friends.