To its credit, "Fable II" offers players the unique opportunity to shoot someone with a blunderbuss to steal celery, clothed only in the top-hat looted from the last person who was blunderbussed in the face. Unfortunately, even the creative made-up words can't compensate for a simple lack of entertainment value. Like its predecessor, "Fable II" is a sandbox fantasy game set in the world of Albion. Despite its charming art direction, the game is highly flawed in execution.
On a purely mechanical level, the game is weighed down by questionable design decisions. There are only a handful of different enemies in the game, making combat repetitive. If a character is ever slain, he simply gets back up, making death effectively meaningless. Players can use their earned experience to level up their melee, ranged or magic skills, but the cost rises so quickly that the most fun aspects of the combat system aren't unlocked until late in the game. Most confusingly, enemies don't drop money, so adventures are financed through acceptance of mundane side jobs. There's nothing like chopping wood in a video game to make one reconsider how many hours are wasted in front of the TV.
These faults could be forgiven in a more endearing game, but the fundamental problem with "Fable II" is that it expects players to become emotionally invested in its world without ever offering a single reason to do so. Those who decide to take the heroic path through the game can expect to spend a sizable chunk of time with the expression wheel. The sole means of interacting with the other characters in the world is through cartoonish pantomimes. The humor in these situations wears thin when players are found dancing for the umpteenth mob of faceless, slack-jawed villagers to convince them of the character's heroism. It's difficult to feel anything but frustration with these characters when communication commands are limited to "dance," "flex" and the increasingly tempting "apply axe to face."
For those who snap and decide to play as a villain, very little actually changes. "Fable II" is fond of giving the player the illusion of world-changing choices, but it quickly becomes apparent how shallow the system often is. Regardless of how evil players act, the story remains unchanged and always treats the protagonist like a paragon of virtue. Players can break the law by stealing or assaulting civilians, but the guards are willing to overlook a three-county rampage for the simple promise not to do it again, even if the action is immediately repeated. But even if the hero and his faithful canine companion decide to purge the country to increase worker efficiency and party loyalty, don't expect it to last. Identical villagers with different names spawn to replace the ones who are killed, and the only result is that towns end up looking a little dirtier.
These kinds of superficial changes are at the heart of "Fable II". This is a game that is terrified of having its vision ruined by players' individual decisions, so it severely limits the options every turn. The player has no real say in how the story progresses or the world evolves.
The kindest thing that can be said about "Fable II" is that it gives players a pet dog. He is adorable and loves treasure chests. Frankly, it loves treasure way more than it loves the hero, but at least it's upfront about the nature of the relationship. So what if it's only sticking around for the precious sparklies? The dog is willing to slog its way through "Fable II" at the hero's side, and that's the best emotional connection anyone can expect to find in this game.
