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Mikey Goralnik | Paint the Town Brown

As far as I'm concerned, the best part about the Brian Jonestown Massacre is the chaos. Sure, it's a good band and all -- its music is cohesive, well-produced, mildly psychedelic and still approachable -- but it's not like the band is light-years beyond its peers or anything. BJM is a good band and there's definitely nothing wrong with it, but that's about as much as I'm willing to praise the band's music.


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Arts

Monsters vs Aliens' makes for a terrifyingly boring 3-D adventure

Studios are realizing that the gimmick movie goes a long way, as has been proved by the comeback of 3-D last year, with releases such as "My Bloody Valentine 3D" (2009) and "Coraline" (2009). Animated films are especially good at working this particular gimmick into their story line, and "Monsters vs Aliens" is no exception.



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Arts

Historic Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum reflects the life of one art enthusiast

Sunlight shines through a large glass roof, bathing the courtyard's Roman mosaic floor, and elegant vines of orange flowers cascade from the third floor balconies down to the ground level. Statuary abounds amongst palm trees and lush greenery, and the delicate trickle of a fountain can be heard in the distance. While this may sound like a description of a grand European mansion, it is, in fact, of the central courtyard of a palazzo located just off of Boston's Green Line. With its outstanding collection, unique arrangement and legendary founder, the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum is an institution unlike any other. "A millionaire Bohemienne"



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Arts

Scofield stays jazzy, mixes in other genres on his latest album

Jazz guitarist John Scofield opted to go down a new path with his most recent album. On "Piety Street" (2009), Scofield and the Piety Street Band blend authentic New Orleans gospel blues with the funky jazz electric guitar that is typical of Scofield's past work.



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Zach Drucker and Chris Poldoian | Bad Samaritans

Some of you will spend your summer lifeguarding or teaching tots to play tennis, others will be getting some pompous investment banker his daily vanilla skim latte in exchange for "experience." Not us. We are going to spend our summer in the one place that matters. It's a place where a kid can laugh at the antics of an ogre and a talking donkey and an adult can cry at the love between a man and his wife who suffers from dementia (no, we don't mean "50 First Dates" (2004)), where the delicious smell of commerce is masked by the enchanting aroma of buttery popcorn. We're talking about the movies. This summer, several comedies have already garnered our attention and made us giddy with anticipation.     In June 2009, watch for "Land of The Lost" and "The Hangover." The former follows paleontologist Will Ferrell and company as they journey through the Prehistoric Era. We'll see how their time traveling compares to Doc Brown and his pimped out DeLorean. In "The Hangover," Ed Helms, Bradley Cooper and Zach Galifianakis wake up after their friend's bachelor party to find a tiger, Mike Tyson, a chicken and a human baby, but they are missing one thing: the groom. What ensues next is sure to be like "Bachelor Party" (1984) on acid.     A couple of weeks later, "Year One", starring Jack Black and Michael Cera, hits theaters. Black and Cera reprise stale roles as the sloppy rapscallion and the awkward, lovesick teenager, respectively. How original. The more exciting pairing is that of David "Never-Nude" Cross and Paul Rudd as Cain and Abel, respectively.     Then there's the always-nude "Brüno". Brüno is one of the three alter egos of British funnyman Sacha Baron Cohen. In 2006, he wowed audiences with the benignly racist and misogynistic Kazakh reporter, Borat, in the film of the same name. The movie focused on interviews, in which unwitting politicians, businessmen and frat brothers let their guard down enough to say ridiculous things. The movie's success was two-fold; it worked as a comedy, complete with a naked wrestling match, and as a social commentary on America's xenophobic tendencies.     "Brüno" won't stray from its predecessor's formula. The movie follows the flamboyantly gay, Austrian fashionista as he explores America, making friends and enemies along the way. We don't want to give too much away, but for more, check out the trailer that hit the web last Thursday.     The movie has already generated controversy. Sacha Baron Cohen was detained last fall in Milan for crashing a fashion show. Now, when we say crashing, we mean it. He showed up in a Velcro suit and plunged onto the catwalk with a plethora of outfits clinging to him.     This controversy has extended to the editing room. Last week, the movie was slapped with an NC-17 rating — a financial kiss-of-death. NC-17 movies, much like lepers and gingers, are rejected by society. But the producers will likely edit some scenes (only to reinsert them in the inevitable unrated DVD), and with a July 10 release date, there shouldn't be any reason to worry.     If none of the aforementioned movies float your boat, here's one we are sure you will like: "G-Force." This film comes out in July and revolves around a squad of specially trained FBI agents who have to stop a diabolical billionaire from destroying the world. If that isn't enough, the film stars Hollywood A-listers like Nicolas Cage, Penélope Cruz, Tracy Morgan, Will Arnett, Jon Favreau, Sam Rockwell and Steve Buscemi. How can this movie be classified as a comedy? The FBI agents happen to be guinea pigs. What? They can't all be "Benji" (1974). --


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Arts

Adventureland' makes for an enjoyable, fairly mature new romantic comedy

     Greg Mottola, director of immensely popular and over-quoted comedy "Superbad" (2007), has done it again. This time, however, Mottola's film, which was inspired by his time working at the Adventureland theme park in Farmingdale, New York, is classier and highly underrated in today's cinematic world. "Adventureland" succeeds as a mix of comedy and romance, with a slight dash of a charming coming-of-age tale.     The film stars Jesse Eisenberg as James, a recent college graduate, whose post-graduation plans are dashed after his parents admit they can't afford his graduation gift, a trip through Europe. Since he has little work experience, he decides to take a job at a local amusement park where his ‘friend' Frigo (played by Matt Bush) works. There, he meets a crazy group of people including over-enthusiastic bosses Bobby and Paulette, played by Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig, respectively, pipe-smoking enthusiast and intellectual Joel (Martin Starr), and ride maintenance man/playboy Connell (Ryan Reynolds). The person he is most taken by, however, is Em (Kristen Stewart), a student at NYU who seems disillusioned with existence. The rest of the movie follows James as he struggles through his summer and chases after Em.     It should be noted that this film is almost nothing like "Superbad." While it is being marketed as the next big thing from Mottola, the content of "Adventureland" is classier, to say the least. The immature humor isn't as prevalent and is mostly found in Frigo's antics throughout the movie. But his multiple nut-shots to James, sexist comments and bodily function jokes seem oddly out of place with the rest of the film. Also, this movie seems to focus more on the romance between the various characters than on comedy; it is better pegged as a romance film about 20-somethings who just happen to work at an amusement park where silly stuff happens. This is a complete departure from the high school, adolescent and hormone-driven comedy of "Superbad."     Mottola never hits the audience over the head with the retro aspect of the movie. The fact that this takes place in 1987 is only apparent by clothing and music choices, and it could have easily been set during modern time. That said, the soundtrack to the film is amazing. It includes hits from Hüsker Dü and the Cure and was scored by indie band Yo La Tengo. The score has a nice beat to it and a catchy, dark hook. As James begins to realize that he won't be able to go to grad school, the film's music makes his sadness increasingly tangible, urging the audience to root for his success.     Cinematography and framing also contribute to the ambience of the film; one scene that focuses on a bumper car ride to the tune of "Just Like Heaven" has the camera turned to face the actors, capturing every bump and moment of excitement on their faces.     The acting in the movie, for the most part, is perfect for what the film wants to be, but whether this is intentional or not is up to the viewer. Eisenberg, however, tries too hard to play the dorky and awkward intellectual that we all know and love. We don't need another Michael Cera, especially since he has that act covered and perfected. It doesn't even look like Eisenberg is trying to deliver his lines with any tact or punch. He seems to try to get them out of the way, and his performance suffers.     Stewart gives off a similar sense, although this method works well for her character. While she was dreadfully terrible in tween vampire hit "Twilight" (2008), her monotone delivery and coked-out look in this movie fit the situation perfectly. The rest of the cast shines at various moments. Hader and Wiig are funny because of their over-emphasis, and Reynolds makes people laugh because he tries to appear more pretentious and witty than he really is.      "Adventureland" should be considered a more high-brow comedy with undertones of romance and the typical revelation that future plans change. Those who are expecting to see another movie filled with penis drawings will be sorely disappointed. However, for those who are willing to open their minds and go on a trip down memory lane to a simpler time when summer jobs sucked and love was in the air, Mottola has made the perfect film.  


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Arts

ART's re-visioning of Euripides contrasts classic tragedy with modern warfare

The theater is dark and cavernous. Fragments of naked dolls hang from metal chains, their limbs gruesomely and vulgarly dangling above the stage. Tarps and cinder blocks line the right side of the stage, creating a makeshift camp.     "Trojan Barbie," written by Christine Evans and directed by Carmel O'Reilly, uses the bleakness and ambiguity of this setting to explore several complex and intertwined storylines.     Hecuba (played by Paula Langton), the wife of the King of Troy, mourns the loss of her husband and sons amid the cement ruins of her home. The audience watches as she slowly and agonizingly loses everything she has left: her five daughters, one by one, her grandson and her sanity. The soldiers bring back mementos from her loved ones, like a necklace from her daughter, the shattered body of her grandson and the stories of how her daughters died.     At the same time, the audience watches Lotte (Karen MacDonald), a British doll maker, prepare for a trip to Troy. As Lotte sips lemonade and writes postcards, the hysterical Andromache (Skye Noel) runs up to her, screaming, "The city has been torched!" She has blood on her legs, and her face is blotched with tears. She holds a large doll, clutching him and calling him her son's name. Lotte, shocked by the intrusion into her normal world, chatters on about her ex-husband cheating on her and ignores the woman's shaking terror. When the guards find Andromache to drag her back to the camp, they take Lotte as well, despite her insistence that "she has rights."     Lotte and Andromache return to an alternate world, a world of ugliness and misery that has gone for three years without rain. This is a world where the flags have been torn up to use as bandages and the fallen princesses of the Trojan Empire declare that cutting their veins will make oil pour out. Suddenly, despite Lotte's passport and list of embassy numbers, she must watch as Hecuba sits in her disintegrating hut and listen as the coquettish Helen (Careena Melia) flirts with the guards to get water.     The play aptly mixes past and present through history, scenes and costumes. For example, while the women wear rags, the soldiers march around in pristine uniforms. Though the play is set after the fall of Troy and follows the history of Hecuba and her daughter-in-law Andromache, modern elements filter smoothly into the setting. The soldiers who keep tabs on the women have aspirin and British accents; they use guns and tanks to terrorize the women. Hecuba's daughter Polyxena ("Polly X"), played by Kaaron Briscoe, expounds on the utility of contemporary art. Polly X is eventually kidnapped to be killed for a ritual sacrifice, and the soldiers get her drunk on beer so they can rape her first.     The play artfully reveals how women deal with tragedy. The clearly insane Cassandra (Nina Kassa) fictionalizes the story of her rape and resulting pregnancy to make the knowledge bearable. Andromache clings to her son, trying to be optimistic about the future. Polly X makes art from the garbage that surrounds her, desperately wanting to believe that there is still decency left in the world. Helen of Troy speaks to her own brand of feminism: She uses men to get what she wants, using her sexuality to fight oppression.     Ultimately, "Trojan Barbie" shows how easily history can be forgotten and the suffering of others can be brushed away. The symbols and motifs that reveal the coexistence of commercialism and oppression are numerous and clever. In the end, Polly X stands on her soapbox and announces that "history is dead" before she dies with her arms out and her head bent, suspended in Christ's pose.     Before the curtains close, Lotte, again safe in her home, repairs a doll that models Hecuba's son and describes how the media focused on her own struggle in escaping Troy. "Nobody asked about the women," she says. However, when the sobbing Hecuba returns to reclaim the boy's body, Lotte roughly pushes her away. The women are like the dolls that hang above the stage: After the shock of seeing them is over, they are easy to ignore.


The Setonian
Arts

Wrestler talks action movies

    The Daily recently had the opportunity to chat with wrestling star John Cena, the star of the newly released "12 Rounds." Cena plays Detective Danny Fisher, a New Orleans cop who puts an international criminal, Miles Jackson (Aiden Gillen) behind bars, killing his girlfriend in the process. One year later, Jackson escapes from prison and vows to avenge his girlfriend by kidnapping Fisher's fiancée, Molly (Ashley Scott) and putting the detective through 12 rounds of puzzles and tests, much like the twelve labors of Hercules. In the interview, Cena was presented with some new puzzles as he was grilled about the transition to acting, filming in New Orleans and his fear of heights. Question: How has your experience in pro wrestling influenced your acting? John Cena: I would compare it to the acting experience somebody gets in Broadway and making the transfer to cinema. Broadway is very open to the audience — it's very projected — whereas in movies, even the smallest movement can mean the most. I just had to learn how to calm myself down. Q: So you've made a couple movies. How has that influenced your wrestling career, balancing time and work? JC: It's not a problem for me. The good thing about movies is that they work the regular week, and the good thing about wrestling is that we work the weekends. Ours is a Friday, Saturday, Sunday business. It just means taking a chartered plane on Monday to set. Lose a bit of sleep, that's all. Q: As long as you're having fun! JC: Indeed, I wouldn't even bother doing both. It takes up your entire day. Q: In regards to other wrestlers who have done movies, such as the Rock, would you ever decide to end your wrestling career and permanently become an actor? JC: No. The only reason I would be physically inactive in wrestling is if I physically could no longer do it. But then I'd find some other role, maybe commentary. Q: You worked with Mark Gordon on this movie. He produced films such as "Saving Private Ryan" (1998) and other fantastic movies. What was that like? JC: Mark is an awesome guy. Josh McLaughlin is kind of the guy he sent to oversee the movie. But yeah, I spent a good amount of time with Mark. Mark is just a good human being to be around. Josh is sort of his right-hand man. He actually pitched me the movie and has pitched a few more. We're going to try to make another picture. Q: "12 Rounds" was filmed on scene in New Orleans. Did it affect the experience? JC: No, only that it made the film more genuine. We certainly didn't shove New Orleans down anyone's throat. But, you know it's there. It's one of those cities that has a distinct character like Boston, like New York. You can't fake that. Everywhere from Bourbon Street to then 9th District. It was a good scenario, the city was open arms in letting us film it. Q: I heard you did most of your own stunts, and you're terrified of heights. How was this experience? JC: Stunts weren't bad. But anything above three floors was when I got iffy. Q: Yeah there was a 100-foot propel down. JC: Yeah, 10 stories. That sucked, just out right sucked. But that only took two days, and they were the only two days I was unhappy at work. Still a pretty good run. Q: Is there any actor or director that you'd really like to work with? JC: Believe it or not, this is a very random reference, but Robert Duvall. I've always really loved Robert Duvall's stuff. Maybe he could be a coach or whatever. It would just be good. Q: Do you have any good stories from being on set? Did anything crazy happen? JC: I can sum it up with one quote: Bourbon Street never shuts down. Q: Do you see your movie career progressing? Is it something you want to keep doing? JC: Sure, sure. But it is the entertainment industry, which is completely dependent on the consumer. So if nobody goes and sees it, then no. But I think it'll be a success. Q: Are you actively seeking new roles? JC: Absolutely. Even though "The Marine" (2006) was a very basic action movie, financially it did very well, which is why it opened a lot of doors. Q: What would you say sets "12 Rounds" apart from other action movies? JC: Story. I think that a lot of action movies are too low-budget and waste time on constant action, or very high-budget and lose their way in giant effects and CG stuff. The reason we chose this one was because of character development and story. There's plenty of action, it's very fast-paced from the word "Go!" But you also start to care about the lead character, Danny Fisher. You start to care about his future wife, Molly. You even start to care about the bad guy. There's just a lot going on [amid] a car wreck. It's pretty cool, it keeps you attached enough to watch the whole thing. You can only watch things blow up for so long.  


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Arts

New comedy plays off comic happenings of 'Motherhood'

    Television rarely documents the important role mothers play in society and even less common is a show that turns the trials of motherhood into something comedic. ABC's newest sitcom "In the Motherhood" tries to capitalize on the inherently comic nature of clueless mothers raising children. There are plenty of laugh-worthy moments, but the show says nothing original about the journey of motherhood.     "Motherhood" is based on an online series of the same name produced in 2007. The new show stars Cheryl Hines, Megan Mullally and Jessica St. Clair playing three very different mothers trying to raise their children while maintaining their personal lives.     Jane (played by Hines) is a recently divorced, working mother of a teenager and new baby. Her manny (i.e. male nanny) Horatio (Horatio Sanz) does most of the caretaking while she goes to work. Jane is often clueless as to what raising a young baby takes since she is out of the house most of the day.     Jane's younger sister Emily (St. Clair) is exactly the opposite of Jane: a Type A, over-involved, stay-at-home mother. Their friend Rosemary (Mullally) is a former musician and stereotypical "cool mom" with a teenage son. The three get together to trade parenting tips, complain about their busy days at work and seek advice on relationships.     The women go through a number of different shenanigans, including Jane locking herself out of the house with her newborn inside and Rosemary's idea to fake a pregnancy in order to gain the perks of being a pregnant woman. But the women's escapades are not really that funny in and of themselves; mostly, it's the acting and the writing that bring the comedy to life.     Hines' and Mullally's one-liners are incredibly funny. St. Clair's performance, however, is only comedic when she loses the perfect woman facade and becomes a crazy lady fighting with her husband over their children. Otherwise, she's just an annoyingly optimistic housewife with nothing to do all day.     The show's writing makes many valid points about the difficulties mothers face in today's world. Jane has to balance work, romance and her children, while Emily's idea of a perfect family and marriage is rarely ever what she claims it is. Rosemary is trying to deal with being an older woman back in the world after raising her child.     Many women, especially those that have children, will respond to this show. The only problem is that the middle-aged woman with a job and children rarely has time to watch television, which is why there aren't that many shows on television aimed at this demographic.     The show is not perfect by any means, especially due to the unexplicably strange qualities of the leading women. Emily's ‘Stepford wife' act is creepy, and she seems like she's going to explode any minute. Jane often comes off as a mother unfit to take care of a child since she barely interacts with her own baby. Rosemary has no real purpose for the show as the audience never witnesses her interaction with her child or job.     Also, some of the situations the show presents don't relate to normal mothers at all. For example, Rosemary organizes a nanny protest. The writers want to show the ridiculous things mothers make their nannies do, but most middle-class mothers can't afford a nanny and have to take care of their children themselves.     The show in general seems to hold a very low opinion of the modern-day mother. There isn't much interaction between the mothers and their children. It's very difficult to believe that being a mother is all that difficult when there is someone else taking care of the kids all the time.     It can be funny to watch these mothers scramble around and try to run their busy lives, but it probably won't strike a chord with many people. The talent is there, but the characters and the story make it hard to believe that the show is capable of fulfilling its potential.


The Setonian
Arts

Mastodon's latest explores new territory

    Mastodon is a tough band to pin down. It's a metal outfit through and through, yet it appeals to a much wider fan base than other bands in the metal genre. Mastodon's albums are very thematic and deliberately paced, yet the band has also created some standout singles and can even be found on the "Guitar Hero" video game. Mastodon's latest record, "Crack the Skye," does little to nail the band to a specific genre. Instead, it proves the band is capable of just about anything.     Hailing from Atlanta, Bill Kelliher, Brann Dailor, Brent Hinds and Troy Sanders have been making epic hard rock for over a decade to ever-increasing acclaim and an expanding fan base. Though its lineup is fairly standard and the head-banging riffs are nothing new, Mastodon nevertheless maintains a unique sound. Hinds and Kelliher pluck away at arpeggiated chords on guitar, while Dailor's jazz-influenced drumming keeps rhythm, and Sanders sings in both gruff and clean styles. Though seemingly disparate, these styles gel into a cohesive sound.     With its breakout record, "Leviathan" (2004), Mastodon proved that Moby Dick was as fitting a subject for metal as anything else. With "Blood Mountain" (2006), the band ventured further into the realm of concept albums. Now, the albums all come full circle with "Crack the Skye." It features a scant seven tracks, some of which clock in at over 10 minutes and consist of multiple movements. It's clear that the band seeks to take the listener on a journey.     As the band tells it, "Crack the Skye" is about a paraplegic who experiments with astral travel, journeys through a wormhole in space and ends up in the spirit realm, where he meets Rasputin and attempts to prevent his assassination before eventually winding up back in his own body. If all this sounds confusing, pretentious and oddly specific, well, it is. However, the story is told through the lyrics in much more general terms, allowing the listeners to glean their own conclusions about the songs' meanings, and to the band's credit, the lyrics never come off as overwrought or cheesy.     Heavy-metal veterans, however, should be accustomed to grandiose lyrics. What's truly surprising is the album's cohesiveness. For all its pondering of Stephen Hawking's theories and the rise and fall of a Russian mystic, Mastodon's music alone is enough to conjure the necessary images in listeners' minds, setting a consistently dark, ethereal mood and maintaining it over the course of the album's 50-minute runtime.     As the band has said, "Crack the Skye" is like a cross between Deep Purple and Count Chocula — in other words, a classic rock-oriented sound with a gothic touch. It's less concerned with riffs, speed and virtuosity (though these aspects are definitely present) and instead focuses on melody and harmony, alternatively creating and releasing tension. From the thunderous crescendo of opener "Oblivion" to the oddly funky and completely infectious mid-track shuffle of "The Czar," it's clear that Mastodon is successfully exploring new musical territory.     The band's success may be due in part to producer Brendan O'Brien, who has worked with acts ranging from Bruce Springsteen to Pearl Jam and brings out the softer side of Mastodon's sound. Rather than cranking the sound levels high and putting guitars at the front of the mix, he places emphasis on the vocals, encouraging Sanders and Hinds to use cleaner, more melodic singing styles and to turn down the guitar distortion just a bit. Though less engaging initially, this creates an extremely rewarding listening experience through headphones, as one can easily pick out all the details, such as the textural use of the organ, at a comfortable volume level.     "Crack the Skye" may not feature any tracks as hard-charging and accessible as "Blood & Thunder," but that's not the point. Mastodon has created an entirely different beast, unique among its discography, one that is a complete success.


The Setonian
Arts

Theater Review | 'Speech and Debate' addresses important themes but fails to leave an impression

Before the Lyric Stage Company's performance of "Speech and Debate" begins, the set's industrial tiled floors, dry-erase board and posters of graphs and projects are enough to send a riveting chill of high school nostalgia down the spines of college students. Like the stage's realistic set, the production does not attempt to withhold any truths of high school life, accurately depicting both the brutal realizations and complicated relationships of its students.


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Arts

SMFA shows off alumni and students in its new 'Traveling Scholars' exhibit

Young artists tend to push boundaries and find ways to express their ideas in unconventional ways. They are less integrated into the art world, so their work is not only more youthful and reckless than that of older artists, but they are apt to reference their own experiences. They work outside the realm of tried conventions and often, though what they have to say may be drawn from established culture, they present their work in a way that is deeply connected to the artist's self-conception.


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Arts

Award-winning string quartet visits the Hill tonight to give a performance

The Emerson String Quartet, a Grammy Award-winning classical music ensemble, will perform in Distler Performance Hall tonight at 8 p.m. The ensemble, the quartet in residence at Stony Brook University, has taught many master classes over the years. The quartet's Philip Setzer will teach a masters class on the Hill at 3 p.m. in the Fisher Performance Room.


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Arts

Theater Review | Hillesum's writings come alive in play

It all begins with an apology. The beautiful, intelligent Etty Hillesum (played by Anne Gottlieb) seems like the very last person who would need to ask for forgiveness, but she does so nonetheless in a manner that makes the audience's heart ache before even knowing her story. "The Wrestling Patient," making its world premier at the Nancy and Edward Roberts Studio at the Boston Center for the Arts, places the story of a young and disturbed woman in Amsterdam during World War II before the eyes of contemporary viewers.


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Arts

From the Office of the Tufts Daily

Dear Vincent Offer Schlomi (a.k.a. ShamWOW Guy), We get it. In this bad economy it must be hard to be a pitchman for such a ridiculous product as the ShamWOW (a super absorbent chamois that doesn't really work like you tell us) and the SlapChop (a vegetable slicer which has been around for ages). It doesn't surprise us that you would turn to carnal comforts, or that you would have to buy the companionship of a woman. We couldn't see anyone actually wanting to spend any time with you based off your sleazy pitches and awful self-written, produced and directed straight-to-DVD bomb. But you crossed a line, a fine line and code of ethics when dealing with a sex-for-hire worker. Even if you do something to piss her off and she bites your tongue, you shouldn't retaliate physically; you take your money and get out of there instead of using your "SlapChop" action to give her a shiner. Who knew that you, of all people, a spiky-haired, nasally voiced, Seacrest lookalike could pack a punch that would totally destroy a woman's face? Did she really deserve that? To take words from your own commercial, "Life is hard as it is, you don't want to cry anymore" -- too bad your mug shot is making people all over the world cry tears of laughter. You look aged, frazzled and totally beaten on. Maybe it's time to give it all up. You've definitely jumped the shark and there are plenty of other spokesmen out there we would rather see on our televisions all the time (read: Billy Mays, all day, everyday... or that British guy that you see every so often). Since the prosecutors declined to file charges against either you or the prostitute, maybe it is time to take a vacation with all your products in tow. You know, something like this: "tacos, fettuccini, linguini, martini, bikini." Sincerely, The Daily Arts Department


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Arts

Mikey Goralnik | Paint the Town Brown

There are two ways to look at the "live music" heard at the Boston Derby Dames' first bout of the 2009 season. One would be to write about the band that played at halftime -- I forget their name, but it was something like I Hate My Dad: Feel My Angst. The problem with this approach is that it's a dead-end. IHMD:FMA's show was the most painfully, unlistenable thing in recent memory, and that's pretty much the end of that thought. So, yeah, how 'bout the weather?


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Arts

TD Banknorth Garden serves as a home for athletes, comedians and artists alike

TD Banknorth Garden, originally the Fleet Center, is a structure of imposing size that is evident when driving along The Leonard P. Zakim Bunker Hill Bridge, Boston's newest landmark. The venue primarily functions as home court and home ice for both the Boston Celtics and Boston Bruins, but during off-seasons and away games it serves as Boston's biggest concert venue.


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Arts

Top Ten | Artistic class that the ExCollege should offer

With registration just around the corner, you're probably thinking about which courses you'll sign up for next semester. If you've been searching SIS night and day, only to slowly accept that the course you're looking for just isn't there, we at the Daily Arts Department want you to know that you're not alone. We feel your pain, and in response, we've come up with a list of artistic, albeit quirky, courses that we would like to see the Experimental College offer next semester. Read them and dream about what it would be like to spend two and a half hours of your week on these fascinating subjects.