This column may have led you to guess that there are quite a few things in pop culture that bother me. Unfortunately, not all of those topics can support a whole column, nor would I wish to attempt to have them do so. So, before the semester comes to a close, let me take this time to just go on a few small rants on things that deserve a moratorium.
1. Guys "ironically" dancing to a late-'90s boy band. You know what I mean. Some guy will throw on "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" or "Bye Bye Bye" and begin jumping around like an idiot. But, oh, he's doing it because he's funny or cool or goofy or doesn't care about how he looks to everyone else. Wrong. This move is about the most tired, cliché, conformist way one could possibly imagine to show his quirkiness. Every dude/bro has done it and will likely continue to do it for the next few years until Fergie becomes a figure of nostalgia, but please do us all a favor and stop.
2. World War II movies. How to make a World War II movie: one part critically acclaimed director, three parts Academy-nominated actors/actresses (or you could be particularly "daring" and get an ex-teeny-bopper or a blockbuster star looking to be taken seriously), either a famous novel or the words "based on a true story" and voila! You have a mention at the Oscars! You're not going to win, because it's been done about 500 times before, but, hey -- you got a nomination! Now, I fully respect anyone who served in WWII (well, on our side ...), but I've had enough of our trying to pay our respects through award season after award season.
For a period that lasted just over five years, we've mined it more thoroughly than any other part of history. I'm not saying that there's nothing left to do. The upcoming films "Australia" and "Valkyrie" look pretty cool, probably because they are not stories that have been filmed to death. I'm just saying that maybe we need some sort of board to review the script and give approval before the requisite flood of WWII movies in the winter.
3. Music video games. "Guitar Hero," "Rock Band" -- you know the deal. Earlier this year, two of my housemates got hooked on "Guitar Hero." I still can't listen to The Rolling Stones' "Paint It Black" or The Killers' "When You Were Young." But there's more wrong with this game than the fact that, should a roommate or housemate or close friend get addicted, you will hear certain songs at least eight times a day. These are video games without any of the actual decoration. Now, I know "Mario Bros." is essentially a series of "push 'A' now to jump, kill the Koopa and don't die," but at least there's a Koopa and a little guy. This game is simply "push 'green' now" and so forth.
Were there not a mini guitar as the controller, it would probably be universally recognized as the most boring game in history. Furthermore, in most games, if your friends screw up, you have the joy of laughing at them and ridiculing them for dying. With Guitar Hero and its brethren, you are simply subjected to having to listen to horrible guitar playing and your favorite (or once-favorite songs) getting butchered like a turkey a few days from now.
And there, Santa, is my list of the top three things I need to see an end to as soon as possible. Well, that and people complaining about the appearance of Christmas references before Thanksgiving.
